I seriously never thought I'd be using this website again. Between Facebook and email, this place just felt like...why bother? But I'm not here about that. Something amazing happened this last weekend that has restored my Faith in God. Like all sermon-stories, we're going to start at the beginning, over a year ago.
So, last year I re-discovered a young woman I met in High School. For her protection, she will only be referred to in pronouns. Like me, she has an anxiety disorder. She is also an atheist and doesn't believe in anything that can't be proven or studied.
"Daniel, why did you have this relationship?"
When you're 24, never been on a date, worried how your life will turn out, you'll say yes. Heck, we had been friends before, no big rifts, just the fact that I couldn't answer her questions, like "why can I not remember my matter being the things it was before it was me?" Eventually, though, you realize you'd like space from that.
However...
"Daniel, why would it be so bad if we got married? Marriage is just two best friends living together."
"My brother and sister in law are a lot more affectionate and bubbly than that. I want someone who makes me feel that way."
"They're them, we're us. You're idealizing their relationship."
That was less than a month ago. As you can tell, it was getting bad. And if that wasn't bad enough...
"They just had Thomas touch Jesus to attack the Gnostics, why would God allow himself to be tested?"
Yep. Faith attacks.
If you don't know what a Faith attack is like to someone like me, imagine this. Imagine you're in a great restaurant, eating a meal. Then imagine someone uninvited sits down at your table and says, "You are going to die from this meal."
Now imagine that happening several times a day over Facebook conversations.
That was last week, CHRISTMAS WEEK!
I was expecting better from friends on the week of Christmas, but I felt so bad I was actually afraid to use Facebook and didn't even turn the computer on or take it with me the day I left my apartment to visit family for several days. I felt hurt and beaten and without life. But I didn't realize just how bad things got inside my head until I watched what people will probably vote the "worst movie of 2014."
No, it's not Left Behind, it's God's Not Dead. I say that it'll win the Razzie because well, let's face it, it has no idea how professors are supposed to act (when I had the closest thing to this, the professor NEVER denied God, but we didn't study Jesus), the philosophers he mentions aren't ACTUAL philosophers, the film is NOT atheist-friendly, though plenty of atheists ARE Christian-friendly and I'm pretty sure there's a group of Muslims also complaining about that one character, too. On top of that, it continues the glorification of Duck Dynasty, which, upon me reading that in a plot synopsis, made me think this film would say "Obama's evil" and "LGBTs go to Hell." Thankfully, the last two were skipped.
However, you're probably wondering...
"You're reading this film rights like a standard blogger, how did it 'save your life?'"
The Professor has a wife. The wife is a Christian. The Professor tells his wife to keep quiet about Jesus to keep the marriage happy.
God pretty much said, "You marry the person you're dating, THAT'S your life, buddy. You're going to be praying in the dark corner of the bedroom when she's not home, trying to keep her happy. You want her happy, or do you want to be happy?"
Yep, God talks to people, today. And He can be pretty candid about how He talks. And even if God had said nothing, the images were enough to say, "seem familiar, Daniel?"
But still, I have a brain in my skull and wasn't sure, so I prayed. My family members, my brother and sister in law, were talking to friends, so I prayed by myself. My brother noticed and I told him everything. He agreed and gave me this advice.
"Until you're not afraid of being alone, you're going to have bad relationships."
And this is were the last part comes in.
It's amazing how in this age, a movie can jump from simple 2-hour film to significant part of culture due to the Internet. In this case, I'm talking about Frozen. The film is a year old, and merchandise is still everywhere, "Do You Want To Build A Snowman" and "For The First Time In Forever" have become iconic, Idina Menzel made a tremendous Christmas album and I swear Elsa and Anna are going to replace Santa Claus and Rudolph as Holiday icons. But the song I didn't mention is the one that matters most. It's sung twice in the film by (I mean this, ladies) national treasures Idina Menzel (Elsa) and pop star Demi Lovato. It is of course, "Let It Go." In the film, Elsa's powers have been revealed and she hides herself on a faraway mountain, creating a castle of ice while singing this. I'm not going to post the whole thing, or a link, just the relevant parts.
"Don't let them in, don't let them see/
Be the good girl you always had to be/
CONCEAL, DON'T FEEL, don't let them know"
"LET IT GO, Let it Go, Can't Hold it Back any more/
Let it Go, Let it Go, TURN AWAY AND SLAM THE DOOR"
And most of all:
"It's funny how some distance makes everything seem small/
AND THE FEARS THAT ONCE CONTROLLED ME CAN'T GET TO ME AT ALL."
I urge everyone in an abusive relationship, let's get out, let's go, let's not be desperate anymore, let's let it go and take control.
