That’s that. I’m quitting Twitter on June 23rd, revisiting on December 8th, then going to be done for good and I’m okay with it. I’ll play Final Fantasy 4, maybe 5, GigaBash and other games from the eShop that don’t have voice talent in them, or in some cases, spoken dialogue at all. I’ll get RWBY x Justice League, Suzume, Trails into Reverie and Topsy McGee and the Sky Pirates, then never buy something due to the voice cast again, trying to keep famous people separate from regular people and not trying to bond with them because 2 out of 100 personality points match. I can also shift focus away from games to films and music. I have now paid for Shin Ultraman thanks to the gift card, which just leaves the question of the Super Mario Bros. movie. Of course, I don’t even know when it’s getting released on DVD. I thought it was July, then Amazon changed it. I’m honestly not sure I want to see Guardians 3, the cast is fun, but the story sounds darker than usual. Then it's mostly nothing until The Marvels. The big problem with that one is that the fandumb is going to mock you for seeing it. I want to see The Flash, but I’m concerned what the “reset” means. Does it mean Gal and Amber are “un-cast?” They were two of the best things in this franchise, and I don’t care what you rum-swilling pirate stans and Hollywood Vampire groupies have to say. When I saw the dates she had to go to the hospital and that they were around the time that album was recorded and released, I wanted to barf, I had given money to a person who had raped a woman with a whiskey bottle around the time he was doing it because he was part of recordings of “Whole Lotta Love,” “Cold Turkey” and “School’s Out/Another Brick in the Wall, Part 2.” Just thinking about it makes my stomach churn like I’m about to throw up. It’s things like this that make me want to be ludicrously careful about the MP3s I buy or other purchasable items. You never know when your money is going to be handed over to the pockets of a psychotic murderous homophobe like Trump or otherwise unless you check a musician’s politics or the politics of the businessmen and CEOs responsible for the company you’re buying from. That’s why most of my money goes to Liberal or LGBTQ+ musicians, buying their CDs and MP3s, like Miley Cyrus, Brandi Carlile, Dolly Parton, K.Flay, Tegan and Sara, Noah Cyrus, Bebe Rexha, Pearl Jam, Lzzy Hale, Cheap Trick, Geoff Tate, the Cornells, Carrie Underwod, Switchfoot, Billy Ray Cyrus, Sammy Hagar, Glenn Hughes and Whitesnake, because I trust them to not fund homophobic/transphobic genocide. I can’t afford any percentage of $1.40 going to corrupt men who plan genocide and seem to be getting closer and closer to accomplishing it here. The problem is, I spend so much on this out of panic that I lose funds for essentials. It’s hard to keep reality in mind when fear is breathing down the back of your neck, making you think if you don’t, the lesbians at your Church will die, the Washington State Government will become Florida or Texas’, the entertainers you enjoy will be publicly executed as those who believe in the deep state laugh and drink champagne, wine and dine on grapes. I still can’t get that horrible image out of my head of Trump and Larry the Cable Guy breaking out the good champagne on Rachel Held Evans’ death, chuckling that God is “clearly on [their] side.” It is probably the thing that enrages me the most, because it is hardly a stretch to imagine such a thing happening. I’ve played several video games where the villain had to be killed. Unless it was an inhuman monster, incapable of speech, whose only actions were to destroy, there wasn’t any rejoicing at ending the final boss’s life. Anger that he/she wrecked the world for petty reasons, yes. Pity sometimes for their obsession that got out of hand. But no laughter, no rejoicing, no saying “God is truly on our side.” Mostly, they were happy their allies were safe and alive. Trump doesn’t care if millions of Americans die on his watch, and neither do his worshippers, because they are just numbers and their empathy is low or gone. This angers me, because this leads to reckless behavior that will kill us all, like picking fights with nuclear-armed nations and saying racist and nationalist things to allies. It is reckless, it lacks humanity and it has nothing to do with the God the Republican party claims to represent, causing all believers to be stained with their fecal matter regardless of party, which leads to Christianity being disrespected in mass media. Republicans complain Seth McFarlane doesn’t respect Christianity; they need to look in the mirror to see the reason why.
Sunday, May 14, 2023
Saturday, May 13, 2023
The Monster Within
Starting today, 5/13/2023, I’m only using Twitter for Music, Baseball Highlights and Birthday Posts. I will check in on the people I’ve subscribed to twice a day and that’s it, the ultimate goal is to reduce it to zero by the end of the year. Its highly politicized nature brings out the worst in me and makes me want to murder politicians. Evil politicians, yes, but still men, and doing so would criminalize everything I hold dear. I must cut off all interactions with the site and fade back to Facebook, where I’m not scared and I understand if no one responds.
It is honestly already working, I’m much calmer and less angry than I tend to be, more relaxed and less stressed out. I still have some stress inside, but it’s only day one and maybe it’ll fade if I cut more out. Honestly, I need to quit these people as cold turkey as possible. I am not going to buy Cassette Beasts, I will only buy the Topsy McGee and the Sky Pirates trade paperback, RWBY x Justice League, Suzume and Trails into Reverie, then I will not buy anything just because a voice actor I like is in it. It’s like Miley Cyrus, it’s turning into dangerous obsession where I feel I need to protect these people monetarily and through self-sacrifice, even if the product ends up being garbage or offensive. You can get mad at people and still like them. I just didn’t believe that because my parents divorced. The worst thing you can do is be neurotically clingy, thinking you care, when you’re really just obsessed with preserving the pure image that is not real. That is my biggest problem with people in general. I did it with Miley Cyrus, Michael Sweet, Tara Platt, Sarah McKnight and Abby Trott, and now I’m sick of myself doing this junk. It is unhealthy, dangerous and only ends with the obsessed person either committing suicide or murder to prove his or her love. It is Dementia, which is why I think everyone in the apartment wants to murder me. I need to stop going to Twitter, socialize in real life/Facebook and forget about voice actors. Otherwise, I will go down in history alongside Mark David Chapman. And saying that cleared me of the last of my stress.
Autobiography Outline/Start
After talking with my cousin last night, I've decided to try writing my autobiography, or at least an outline/"treatment" of it, another go. Here's what I made this morning;
Early life, 1-7, 1989-1996:
I was born on May 16th, 1989, I’ve always held that special. I was born while Tiananmen Square was happening, but what more influenced my life was I born the year Ken Griffey Jr. made his major league debut, the Mariners acquired Randy Johnson (nine days after I was born!), the World Series took place entirely in San Francisco Bay, Godzilla vs. Biollante debuted in Japanese theaters, “Just Say Ozzy” was recorded, Alice Cooper’s “Trash,” Whitesnake’s “Slip of the Tongue,” Rush’s “Presto” and Soundgarden’s “Loud Love” were released. I share my Birthday with Krist Novoselic and Megan Fox and it is eight days after Abby Trott’s.
Baseball was always important to my immediate family, but I remember I didn’t get it, or rather, had any strong memories of it, other than enjoying the pictures on certain baseball cards until the Mariners 1995 playoff run. I remember when the Bellingham Mariners gave away 1991 Donruss cards I enjoyed them more than anything, even though most/all of the players were gone; Scott Bankhead, Mike Jackson (who would return in 1996), Rich DeLucia, Bill Swift (who would also return), Harold Reynolds (the guy who now works as a sportscaster), Gene Harris and Brian Holman (those last two being other pitchers acquired in the Randy Johnson trade). The first Major League Baseball game I have any memories of was a 1995 game between the Mariners and the Baltimore Orioles where Joey Cora and Alex Diaz had a collision chasing a fly ball, worrying the fans since it was just after Griffey broke his wrist. Much stronger memories were of the Bellingham Giants that summer, a short-season affiliate of San Francisco. I strongly remember Manuel Bermudez, a strong pitcher who struck people out and they would say “Another (opposing team’s mascot) steps into the Bermudez Triangle.” I also remember pitcher Darin Blood because he started the game we went to Everett (Seattle’s affiliate) for, Everett had Joe Pomierski, who had spent the previous year in Bellingham as a Bellingham Mariner. Other notable Bellingham Giants I liked were Dan Topping, Alex Morales, Dievi Cruz and Yorvit Torrealba, the last two going on to have Major League careers, us seeing Cruz again two years later at the Kingdome with the Detroit Tigers and seeing Torrealba in 2005 as a Seattle Mariner and in 2011 as a Texas Ranger.
My first really strong Major League Baseball memory was September 23rd, 1995, I only remember the date because of retrosheet. The Mariners were playing the Athletics in the midst of their playoff chase, putting Randy Johnson on the mound with a healthy Ken Griffey Jr. back. The A’s had Mark McGwire, Matt Gallego, Danny Tartabull and Stan Javier, a lineup that Randy Johnson and Bobby Ayala shutout, keeping them from scoring any runs while the Mariners scored 7, one batted in by Griffey, one batted in by Edgar Martinez and 4 batted in by Jay Buhner with 2 home runs! Also playing was Mike Blowers, who was the first current Mariner card I got from a 1995 Upper Deck pack and is now a sportscaster for the team.
The Mariners claimed the West Division in a tiebreaker game with the Angels during which I was at gymnastics, so I came home to see Randy Johnson point to the sky after striking out Tim Salmon and a highlight clip of Luis Sojo grinning widely as Mark Langston collapsed, letting the game out of reach of the Angels. Thanks to my Grandma, though I didn’t know this for a few years, we were able to see Division Series game 4. I don’t know if this is when my Mom got her crush on Edgar Martinez, but it had to have helped, considering he was the hero of the game for the Mariners with two home runs, one of which was a grand slam. Griffey and Buhner also had home runs, and in “cosmic foreshadowing,” Sterling Hitchcock pitched for the Yankees while Tino Martinez and Jeff Nelson played for the Mariners. 7 months later, I would see them again on opposite teams, along with Jim Mecir on the Yankees and Russ Davis on the Mariners. In both games, Scott Kamieniecki started for the Yankees, another played I had the card of from 1995 Upper Deck.
The month after, we went to Southern California to vacation at Disneyland, SeaWorld and also take in a game between the California Angels (as they were then called) and the Chicago White Sox. We left the game early, after the 10th inning with it still tied as we were going to Disneyland the next day, but it made an impression on me. J.T. Snow, Darin Erstad, Tim Salmon, Rich Montelleone and Tim Wallach of the Angels, Frank Thomas, Danny Tartabull, Robin Ventura and Harold Baines of the White Sox, it all made me realize baseball was important to me, each game a one-time-only event you had to try to make because it wouldn’t happen again. These were mostly people I had only seen on baseball cards my brother and I collected, and now, they stood before me, playing the game that made them famous. Even now, people look back at this era and try to emulate some of these men as best they can while trying to hone their craft at the sport, watching and rewatching videos of Griffey, Edgar, Randy Johnson, Harold Baines and others I grew up seeing them play before me.
About a month later, I saw the Angels and Mariners clash in the Kingdome and was able to sit close the action in the 100 level. What made this one feel extra-special was that the Mariners had to use backups, Griffey was injured again, as was Randy Johnson, so the starting pitcher was Matt Wagner, with relievers Tim Davis, Blas Minor and Lee Guetterman, and among the starting lineup was Rich Amaral in centerfield, Brian R. Hunter in leftfield and Greg Pirkl at first base, against Chuck Finley, one of the best pitchers the Angels ever had, I had a starting lineup action figure of him (if you remember the 90s and were in Northwest Washington, you know it was almost impossible to get one of a Seattle Mariner). Despite this, the Mariners won in extra innings, Pirkl even hit a double off Finley.
While all this was going on, seeds of three other lifelong interests were being planted. Unlike most children of the late 80s/the 90s, I didn’t watch much mainstream cartoons, the main one I remember was watching the “Catteries not Included” episode of Chip N Dale Rescue Rangers because I really loved Jim Cummings’ performance as Professor Nimnul as he used robot bulldogs to kidnap cats to build up static electricity to try to destroy the city with lightning. Jim Cummings was the first voice actor I kind of “followed,” mostly because he was in so many Disney cartoons we would watch occasionally (or maybe more than occasionally, my brother had a Goof Troop lunch box and he was Pete in that). He also narrated the Aladdin read-along books and was Razoul in the films and TV show, and also played Ed the Hyena in The Lion King and sang the last part of “Be Prepared” since Jeremy Irons lost his voice screaming “You won’t get a sniff without me!” I would later hear him in many other roles, but that’s kind of what started my ability to recognize voice actors simply by listening, only checking afterward to confirm I was right.
At that time, one of my major kid’s shows and books I loved was Thomas the Tank Engine. While he had left the show before I started watching, I really loved Ringo Starr as Mr. Conductor. Much as I think he is in real life, he came across as modest, humble, wise and funny. My uncle also created a mixtape for my brother and I that included “She Loves You,” “Can’t Buy Me Love,” “A Hard Day’s Night” and “Yellow Submarine,” so I began to love The Beatles with Ringo being my favorite. Around the same time came a song I thought was an Elvis Presley tune until 2007 due to its Southern Baritone and high dance nature, but I’ll get more into that when we get to that point of my life.
Around this point, my cousin had a Super Nintendo.
1997-2002; If you’re going through Hell, Keep Going!
2003-2005; I know everything, or do I?
2005-2008; Why do you hate me?
2008-2009; The years everything changed
2010; Sinking into a quagmire of rage
2011-2013; Start living life again/Living values is not easy or fun
2014-2015; A necessary shift and things seem better
2016; The world becomes unsafe within 2 months
2017; The hardest losses yet
2018; Life gives me a beating
2019; Rising from Ruins
2020-2022; Edelgard/Temari/Tara Platt, slayer of mental demons, Annette/Nezuko/Abby Trott, bringer of mirth
Monday, May 8, 2023
Some venting
When I was young, people told me life is hard. I thought they meant life is like training for your black belt in Muay Thai, rigorous, tough, a long stretch of hard physical work for a year or so, then a just reward. I had no idea it was a series of extreme mental challenges and you daily fight just to stay afloat in a deranged class 5 rapids and hope people would toss you lines to shore and nurse you back to health.
Maybe it hasn't always been this way, I can't tell, but things certainly got worse with the 45th President, who attempted many horrible thing and got away with several. To make matters worse, people who could've fought him with a sarcastic sense of humor, a watchful Twitter account or simple action on a local scale all died during his reign; Chris Cornell, Rachel Held Evans and my uncle. Sometimes I imagine Trump and Larry the Cable Guy toasting champagne to Rachel's death.
The demon king is in the past, but his influence still reigns. So-called "laws" in Oklahoma, Texas, other states in the South and Midwest and especially Florida, repress freedom, the population and criminalize the innocent and do nothing to the guilty. Stillborn children are happening and the women can do nothing. Women are getting raped and can do nothing. Trans people are being refused comfort. The entire LGBTQ+ community is being treated like it doesn't even exist. And they have the gall to claim my God as their logic for their actions, telling me I lack faith and Biblical Literacy.
Jesus was kind at every opportunity, to everyone. But that doesn't matter to them, they want to build ways and keep the "them" out. I admit, I too want to keep "them" out, solely to protect "us," because I don't think they'll stop until we're all gone. I wish I could talk with them and we come to an understanding about the value of life, rather than just talk sports and some classic rock bands, mostly the "inoffensive ones" and ones whose members were on the 700 club. But it seems they need to change, because I've tried to meet them halfway and stifle part of me and it only makes me miserable in the long run.
Thursday, May 4, 2023
Start of May
The first thing I want to do is update my lists of music now that we are a third of the way through the year. My top played tracks for this year are now:
-Flower by Miley Cyrus
-Separate Ways by Daughtry and Lzzy Hale
-Thousand Miles by Miley Cyrus and Brandi Carlile
-Divine Attack -Shingeki- by BabyMetal
-Whipping Post by Jenn Ford
-Need Each Other by Revolution Saints
-I Finally Do-Erika Harlacher
The favorite songs of 2023 now looks like this with the release of albums by Revolution Saints and Bebe Rexha and new singles from Elegant Weapons and Joel Hoekstra's 13, as well as Jack Black singing a love song as Bowser.
1.) Separate Ways (Worlds Apart)-Daughtry feat. Lzzy Hale
2.) The Spirit of Radio-Kurstin x Grohl, Jack Black
3.) Peaches-Jack Black
4.) Gonna Be You-Dolly Parton, Belinda Carlisle, Gloria Estefan, Debbie Harry, Cyndi Lauper
5.) Jolene-Olivia Newton-John, Dolly Parton
6.) Peace like a River-Dolly Parton, Dionne Warwick
7.) Turbo Lover-Ronnie Romero, Nozuko Wakai
8.) No More Tears-Ronnie Romero, Gus G.
9.) The Shining-Ronnie Romero, Chris Caffery
10.) Through the Streets-Joel Gibbons, Joel Hoekstra
11.) Lose You-Sam Smith
12.) Who We Love-Sam Smith, Ed Sheeran
13.) This Is Why-Paramore
14.) The News-Paramore
15.) Running Out of Time-Paramore
16.) I Finally Do-Erika Harlacher
17.) You Are The Music (Live 5/16/1992)-Trapeze
18.) Way Back to the Bone (Live 5/16/1992)-Trapeze
19.) Coast to Coast (Live 5/16/1992)-Trapeze
20.) Midnight Flyer (Live 5/16/1992)-Trapeze
21.) Die For You (Remix)-The Weeknd, Ariana Grande
22.) Still Alive-Demi Lovato
23.) Heart Attack (Rock version)-Demi Lovato
24.) FLOWERS-Miley Cyrus
25.) Thousand Miles-Miley Cyrus, Brandi Carlile
26.) Violet Chemistry-Miley Cyrus
27.) Muddy Feet-Miley Cyrus, Sia
28.) Wildcard-Miley Cyrus
29.) Wonder Woman-Miley Cyrus
30.) Flowers (Demo)-Miley Cyrus
31.) Out of that Truck-Carrie Underwood
32.) I Miss Strangers (Acoustic)-Death Cab For Cutie
33.) I’ll Never Give Up On You (Acoustic)-Death Cab For Cutie
34.) All-Star Jam-Metal Hall of fame All-Stars
35.) Eye for an Eye-Rina Sawayama
36.) Winner Takes All-Nita Strauss, Alice Cooper
37.) METAL KINGDOM-BabyMetal
38.) Divine Attack-Shingeki-BabyMetal
39.) Mirror, Mirror-BabyMetal
40.) MAYA-BabyMetal
41.) Believing-BabyMetal
42.) The Seeker (Live)-The Who
43.) Everybody Needs Someone-Noah Cyrus, Vance Joy
44.) Neon Knights-Paul Gilbert
45.) Kill the King-Paul Gilbert
46.) Country Girl-Paul Gilbert
47.) Man on the Silver Mountain-Paul Gilbert
48.) Holy Diver-Paul Gilbert
49.) Heaven and Hell-Paul Gilbert
50.) Long Live Rock N Roll-Paul Gilbert
51.) Lady Evil-Paul Gilbert
52.) 72 Seasons-Metallica
53.) Sleepwalk my Life Away-Metallica
54.) Lux AEterna-Metallica
55.) Chasing Light-Metallica
56.) Too Far Gone? -Metallica
57.) Little Wing-Jenn Ford
58.) Gold Dust Woman-Jenn Ford
59.) Nothing Compares to You-Jenn Ford
60.) Whipping Post-Jenn Ford
61.) Turn the Page-Jenn Ford
62.) Hotel California-Jenn Ford
63.) Black Hole Sun-Jenn Ford
64.) War Pigs (Full Version)-Eva Under Fire
65.) Eagle Flight-Revolution Saints
66.) Talking Like Strangers-Revolution Saints
67.) Need Each Other-Revolution Saints
68.) I’ll Cry for You Tonight-Revolution Saints
69.) Set Yourself Free-Revolution Saints
70.) Once More-Revolution Saints
71.) Save it All-Revolution Saints
72.) Bed of Roses-Ian Hunter, Ringo Starr, Mike Campbell
73.) Angel-Ian Hunter, Taylor Hawkins, Duff McKagan, Brad Whitford
74.) Final Battle, Part II-David Levy
75.) Heart Wants What It Wants-Bebe Rexha
76.) Call On Me-Bebe Rexha
77.) I’m Not High, I’m In Love-Bebe Rexha
78.) I am-Bebe Rexha
79.) Seasons-Bebe Rexha, Dolly Parton
80.) You’ll Never Be Alone-Sweet & Lynch
81.) Lights (Live)-Neal Schon, Deen Castronovo
82.) Do or Die-Elegant Weapons
83.) Blind Leading the Blind-Elegant Weapons
84.) Rescued-Foo Fighters
85.) Kindness-Tanya Tucker
86.) Ready as I’ll Never Be-Tanya Tucker
87.) Far Too Deep-Joel Hoekstra’s 13
88.) Another Celebration At The End of the World-Mammoth WVH
89.) Out of Pocket-Black Stone Cherry
90.) Judgement Day-Kings of Chaos
I have also prepared my Pride Month playlist one month early, any changes will depend on what Brandi Carlile does in the next month with Brandy Clark and Tanya Tucker, or if Now Proud has something on par with this, most likely. I will put it up on Spotify in the late teens of the month.
1.) FLOWERS-Miley Cyrus
2.) Breaking the Law-Judas Priest
3.) The Story-Brandi Carlile
4.) Fat Bottomed Girls (Live in Paris)-Queen
5.) Separate Ways (Worlds Apart)-Daughtry feat. Lzzy Hale
6.) Running Wild (Live 1979)-Judas Priest
7.) Don’t Call Me Angel-Ariana Grande, Miley Cyrus, Lana del Rey
8.) Victim of Changes (Live 1979)-Judas Priest
9.) Broken Horses-Brandi Carlile
10.) Breaking the Law (Live 2015)-Judas Priest
11.) Malibu-Miley Cyrus
12.) I Want It All-Queen
13.) Thousand Miles-Miley Cyrus feat. Brandi Carlile
14.) We Will Rock You-In This Moment feat. Lzzy Hale and Taylor Momsen
15.) Guardians/Rising from Ruins-Judas Priest
16.) Lose You-Sam Smith
17.) Seasons-Bebe Rexha and Dolly Parton
18.) Raise Hell-Brandi Carlile
19.) She’s Not Him-Miley Cyrus
20.) Heart Attack (Rock Version)-Demi Lovato
21.) Gimme The Prize (Kurgan’s Theme)-Queen
22.) Simple Things-Elton John and Brandi Carlile
23.) Rainbowland-Miley Cyrus and Dolly Parton
24.) Painkiller-Halestorm
25.) Who We Love-Sam Smith and Ed Sheeran
26.) Edge of Dawn-AmaLee
27.) Love Wins-Carrie Underwood
28.) All I Want Is To Be Your Girl-Holly Miranda
29.) I Got You-Bebe Rexha
30.) Rain On Me-Lady Gaga and Ariana Grande
31.) BWU-Tegan and Sara
32.) Easy-Demi Lovato and Noah Cyrus
33.) Naturally Wild-Ray Wylie Hubbard, Lzzy Hale and John 5
34.) Violet Chemistry-Miley Cyrus
35.) Chosen Family-Rina Sawayama, Elton John
36.) Heart Wants What It Wants-Bebe Rexha
37.) Becky’s So Hot-FLETCHER
38.) Her Body is Bible-FLETCHER
39.) Midnight Sky-Miley Cyrus
40.) Heart of Glass (Live)-Miley Cyrus
41.) Wrecking Ball x Nothing Compares 2 U (Live)-Miley Cyrus
42.) Call on Me-Bebe Rexha
43.) Still Alive-Demi Lovato
44.) Exciter-Judas Priest
45.) Delivering the Goods-Judas Priest
46.) Eye for an Eye-Rina Sawayama
47.) Good as Hell-Lizzo feat. Ariana Grande
48.) I’m not High, I’m in Love-Bebe Rexha
49.) The Wonder of the Cross-Vicky Beeching
50.) Nothing Else Matters-Miley Cyrus, Andrew Watt, Robert Trujillo, Elton John, Yo-Yo Ma, Chad Smith
51.) FLOWERS (Demo)-Miley Cyrus
I also plan on posting a special YouTube playlist on my Birthday. That's all for now, I'll post more when I get more ideas.