Ten years ago

I'll never forget what happened ten years ago today, the day the terrorists stole America's security and fear zoomed in.  I was asleep, thinking about the day that lay ahead, going to school then going to practice Muay Thai martial arts.  Dad called so I could let him in, the divorce had happened, but he still took me to school.  Instantly, he walked over to the television set, that's when I knew something was wrong.  I saw the World Trade Center, the tallest buildings in New York City, with smoke pouring out of gaping holes.  I wondered if this was it for the structure, Dad assured me the buildings were too strong for airplane impacts to destroy them.  However, the burning fuel dramatically weakened the steel, and before I went to school, two of our nation's landmarks were gone.  Dad told me someone from the Middle East was most likely responsible.  I agreed, knowing of how Saddam Hussein hated America.  At school, the others blamed Japan for their history of Pearl Harbor and Kamikaze attacks, oblivious of the metamorphosis the nation had undergone in the last 60 years (now 70 years).  I told them to be quiet, stop slandering Godzilla's homeland, my statements fell on deaf ears.  Only the teacher could convince them otherwise from their "destroy Japan" sentiment.  I was nervous to do anything that day, but I was forced to do so by my parents.  In the years that came, the incident would prove to be the thing that robbed me, robbed my of my innocence and put me at odds with so many people.  As George W. Bush turned the fight to Iraq, a movement not unlike the Hippie movement arose, demanding peace at any cost.  I got swept up in this, stating that Bush was the reincarnation of Adolf Hitler through black magic and that he planned the horrible day, that the pilots of death were members of the Secret Service.  Hate fueled me, I despised the military, the Republican Party, this country and the one I called the antichrist, George W. Bush.  However, around 2007, that hate got burned out, tired and worn out from despising so much.  I had a new enemy then, the mass media, and how they portrayed Christians.  With that, I found the most vocal Christians in Hollywood, the Cyrus family, and began adoring them, especially since an episode of Hannah Montana dealt with surgery, which I had just received three months before the episode aired.  With that, there came a new call.  "Some Gave All."  Billy Ray Cyrus is very much a patriotic American Christian and has written and sung that many times, we need to fight for freedom.  My hate and paranoia slipped away, replaced with obsession, needing them to know such a perspective, which had been living deep within me the whole time, was okay, not an easy task when you live in a liberal town like Bellingham.  For that, I've given myself a one-day reprieve from the ban to listen to Billy Ray Cyrus' most patriotic songs.  I have also learned that his daughter is considering following Eastern Philosophy, however, I still feel like I need her and that the world needs her to be a Christian who supports gays.  Today I said a prayer in Church in the hopes that her paths would be made clear and that she wouldn't forget the beautiful sacrifice of Jesus.  I hate Hollywood less, though I do feel they treat people like garbage, and hope that my prayers are answered, and if she does convert, that God will be able to rescue her from any condemnation.
When Bin Laden was killed, it was amazingly refreshing, I no longer had to be angry over the events, it was over to an extent in my mind.  I've heard many differing opinions about the attack, one that really saddens me is the opinion that God let the attack happen so we would trust in him, rather than money and military.  I find it hard to believe that the God who led the children of Israel to the Promised Land, who willingly died for us, would support a man who hates Christianity, Israel and America and believes suicidal murder is not only justifiable, but supported by the divine.  Let's pray for all affected by war and remember, freedom isn't free.

Battling Depression still

Hey all,
As I mentioned on Facebook and Twitter, I've been told the Cyrus family and Rock Mafia family has become like heroin for me.  I have been instructed to take a break, which is difficult, I hate not listening to "Achy Breaky Heart," "Can't Be Tamed," "The Climb," and "Party" whenever I want.  What's worse, as I think during this break about it, I can only think how addicts can never develop a healthy relationship with their drugs, they must quit them outright and NEVER use them or go near them again.  If this has been my relationship with Miley, Demi, Billy Ray, Brandi and the others, it means I can never listen to their music again, which hurts.  Sure, The Beatles and Lynyrd Skynyrd service great music, but it pains me to not listen to all the music I like, as well as have to think of a future where I can't film a documentary about what Faith, Religion and Jesus mean to Miley Cyrus, Brandi Cyrus, Demi Lovato, Selena Gomez and AnnaSophia Robb.  I can only see me becoming a clerk in some local shop, and I don't want to sit on the sidelines as awesome films like the Transformers trilogy and the Avengers universe saga get made.  I also don't want to make films without the possibility of meeting people who've inspired me.  So, I keep thinking while I work and volunteer, wondering of a way out.