Hitting bottom? Let the world grab a shovel and go deeper!

Well, the Mariners got Perfect Gamed today.  I think this may be the first of many perfect games and no-hitters inflicted upon them this season.  Why?  Their offense sucks.  It sucks so bad it sucks at sucking.  They are a pathetic team of losers who can't hit worth a darn.  I hope they get sold to New Orleans and move there, I'm sick of seeing such a pathetic team.  They will lose every game I will see of them this year, by scores of 17-0, 24-0, 27-0 and 15-0, and at least one will be a perfect game.  Ichiro will be traded to the Yankees or Nationals for Pitching Prospects, because Jack Zdurencik, the biggest moron in baseball, believes pitching solves all woes.  The Nationals will go to the World Series, making the Mariners the pathetic losers who will be last to the World Series by default, IF they EVER get there.  I hope Bud Selig contracts them out of existence.  I am seriously considering giving up my tickets, because I'm so sick of being exposed to the lamest team in the history of baseball.  Also, Miley will convert to Buddhism, condemning her to the pits of the idol worshippers in hell when she dies.  Life f&*#ing sucks right now.