Pulse, Five years on

 I hate doing this, I’m unappreciated, often ignored and weary from trying.  I think I should just retire; no one’s going to miss me, anyway.  They’ll just go about their own lives, never worried or concerned about me.  I’m so worn out, I give all this effort writing and posting screenshots with LGBTQ+ characters and getting no appreciation whatsoever.  It feels like Trump actually won, because it seems that community is just ignored now, treated like it doesn’t exist and to bring them up is to render yourself invisible.  I need positive energy, or I won’t be able to keep posting.  I honestly don’t feel like posting ever again already, what will the rest of this month bring, more apathy and an onslaught of insults?  Will this be when DeviantArt outright calls me an “SJW Fag?!”  I know when they do, that will comprise a death threat, saying “because you care about others who are different than you, you should be used as tinder/kindling for a witch burning.  You have no worth other than that.”  I imagine it will happen some day and I’m tired of working like this, living in fear of the Trump worshipers and their lectures and insults.  I work over and over and over again and it feels like I’m actively dying, like my life is ebbing away with each day, each ignored post, each expression of a lack of care/concern.  I’ve fought for the last 12 years and now I feel like if I keep fighting on DeviantArt they will murder me, either with words or they will hunt me down using the internet and assault or shoot me.  I’m tired of fighting a battle that I can’t win, it’s been awful for the last five years.  49 people were murdered in one night and that wasn’t enough to stop the nation from turning into a cult that wanted a deranged man in Nazi Boots and Stalinist lies from becoming dictator.  This said to me, “we like this event, we want it to happen on a regular basis.”  He assaulted them through executive orders, his minions slaughtering them all across the nation, more LGBTQ+ people died of violence in 2017 than in 2016, even with the horrible morning of June 12^th.  And still, the deranged cult, 75 million strong at least, asked for him to return.  Their goal was clear, genocide, wipe this community out, slaughter every last one.  The 2020 campaign might as well have said, “LGBTQ+ peoples are Satan incarnate and we will exterminate them like the Nazis tried to do to the Jews, only we will succeed.”  It wouldn’t have cost them one vote, they might’ve even won with that campaign, in my experience, it’s at least 60% opposition to the community, endorsing the idea they should face legal ramifications for their orientation, the mildest of which is life incarceration or being assaulted through conversion therapy until they say what the bastards want to hear.  And I live in a Blue City in a Blue State.  We’re not out of this death forest, not by a long shot.  The capitol raids prove that.  If their messiah, the antichrist, the Beast incarnate, Trump, the fallen morning star, told them “kill any fag you run across,” they would do it without hesitation, actually glad to go to prison as “martyrs” for their “god.”  It would be bloodshed like only once before, the wholesale slaughter of Native Americans that formed this “great” country, a nation built on racism, sexism and homophobia.  A nation that deserves to lose a war and have its taken-for-granted freedoms violently stripped from it by an actually great nation.  We must learn from Germany and Japan’s example, only through being assaulted and destroyed and forced to rebuild from scrap did they become beacons of freedom while we slipped into fascism and Stalinism on the right wing.  May God decimate this nation down to ruins so we can learn lessons we have forgotten in our slovenly 21^st Century days where we ignore science, get fat and kill minorities without thinking!