Film and Twitter Fatigue and First Quarter Favorite Music

 If it were completely up to me, the only movies I’d be seeing this year AND next year are the Super Mario Bros. movie and, if it’s theatrical, Justice League x RWBY.  But society, my family, my desire to at least feel like I’m doing the right thing, my desire to stay current and the movie industry’s obsession with their cinematic universes has made it look like this:

April/May 2023-Super Mario Bros., Justice League x RWBY, Guardians of the Galaxy 3

June 2023- Shin Ultraman DVD

July 2023-The Marvels

November 2023-Possible subtitled release of new Japanese Godzilla film concurrent with Japanese theatrical release

December 2023-Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom

March 2024-Godzilla and Kong; Origins (Working Title)

 

The thing is, I lack any confidence Adam Wingard can do anything worthwhile with the MonsterVerse, I have serious superhero movie fatigue and would ordinarily just get the Aquaman one on DVD to support Amber Heard (which may still happen) and I have doubts that the Godzilla franchise in general is going to be worth what it was.  Michael Dougherty took it to heights thought impossible, now it seems impossible to repeat or go beyond those heights.  I am honestly thinking the franchise’s best days are behind it and now it will fall to be a niche novelty film with no heart and forgetting its soul as the dire warnings of atomic weaponry.  A Godzilla film is more than Monster A fights Monster B, other writers figure out the rest, it is a window into the characters of our souls, head of the table, nature goddess, scrappy fighter, the terror of the chaos of destruction, bloodthirsty and soulless lust for power, the struggle to defend, that side of ourselves that claims we can be better if we relinquish our bonds and compassions and tries to prove itself right by trashing us.  And at the center of this, radioactivity.  Do the benefits outweigh the detriments?  Is it right or wrong?  Can it be used to help, or is it only a tool for destruction?  Should we wholesale ban it all, or are there enough times it’s still helpful to keep it around?  No black-and-white answer will properly deal with these questions, which makes us still grapple with it, grapple with is Godzilla a hero or not?  Instead, we want binary morality and simple answers, black and white, which is not going to answer all of nature’s actions in the real world, but we look at everything as though it was a human, our kind of human and they are, and yet also not.

 

I might be leaving Twitter much sooner than I thought, I realized today with the school shooting people are going to blame the LGBTQ+ community for such things, claiming the name of Jesus as they do.  I can’t deal with the hate politics of the Republican party, which I’ve been dealing with for at least 13 years, anymore, not like this.  I’m going to post there tomorrow for the 50^th anniversary of Led Zeppelin’s Houses of the Holy and on 4/16 for World voice day and that may be it, it depends on how many hate comments I see tomorrow and throughout this week just visiting.  They’re not even saying anything, just the fear of what they can say is enough to cripple me.

 

Here's my favorite songs of the first quarter of 2023:

 

1.)          Separate Ways (Worlds Apart)-Daughtry feat. Lzzy Hale

2.)          The Spirit of Radio-Kurstin x Grohl, Jack Black

3.)          Gonna Be You-Dolly Parton, Belinda Carlisle, Gloria Estefan, Debbie Harry, Cyndi Lauper

4.)          Jolene-Olivia Newton-John, Dolly Parton

5.)          Peace like a River-Dolly Parton, Dionne Warwick

6.)          Turbo Lover-Ronnie Romero, Nozumo Wakai

7.)          No More Tears-Ronnie Romero, Gus G.

8.)          The Shining-Ronnie Romero, Chris Caffery

9.)          A Light in the Black-Ronnie Romero

10.)        The Four Horsemen-Ronnie Romero

11.)        Through the Streets-Joel Gibbons, Joel Hoekstra

12.)        Lose You-Sam Smith

13.)        Who We Love-Sam Smith, Ed Sheeran

14.)        This Is Why-Paramore

15.)        The News-Paramore

16.)        Running Out of Time-Paramore

17.)        You First-Paramore

18.)        Liar-Paramore

19.)        This is Mongol (Warrior Souls)-The HU, William DuVall and Alice in Chains

20.)        I Finally Do-Erika Harlacher

21.)        Heart Wants What It Wants-Bebe Rexha

22.)        Way Back to the Bone (Live 4/27/1973)-Trapeze

23.)        You Are The Music (Live 4/27/1973)-Trapeze

24.)        Black Cloud (Live 4/27/1973)-Trapeze

25.)        Keepin’ Time (Live 4/27/1973)-Trapeze

26.)        You Are The Music (Live 5/16/1992)-Trapeze

27.)        Way Back to the Bone (Live 5/16/1992)-Trapeze

28.)        Coast to Coast (Live 5/16/1992)-Trapeze

29.)        Midnight Flyer (Live 5/16/1992)-Trapeze

30.)        Your Love Is Alright (Live 5/16/1992)-Trapeze

31.)        Black Cloud (Live 5/16/1992)-Trapeze

32.)        Die For You (Remix)-The Weeknd, Ariana Grande

33.)        Unchained-David Lee Roth

34.)        Wonder Woman Suite, Part 3 (Live)-Hans Zimmer

35.)        We are the Resurrection-LOVEBITES

36.)        Stand and Deliver (Shoot ‘em Down)-LOVEBITES

37.)        NO BAD DAYS-Macklemore, Collette

38.)        Still Alive-Demi Lovato

39.)        Heart Attack (Rock version)-Demi Lovato

40.)        FLOWERS-Miley Cyrus

41.)        Thousand Miles-Miley Cyrus, Brandi Carlile

42.)        River-Miley Cyrus

43.)        Violet Chemistry-Miley Cyrus

44.)        Muddy Feet-Miley Cyrus, Sia

45.)        Wildcard-Miley Cyrus

46.)        Wonder Woman-Miley Cyrus

47.)        Flowers (Demo)-Miley Cyrus

48.)        Out of that Truck-Carrie Underwood

49.)        I Miss Strangers (Acoustic)-Death Cab For Cutie

50.)        I’ll Never Give Up On You (Acoustic)-Death Cab For Cutie

51.)        Honky Tonk Women-Brooks & Dunn

52.)        It’s Only Rock and Roll (But I Like It)-Brothers Osborne, The War and Treaty

53.)        All-Star Jam-Metal Hall of fame All-Stars

54.)        Eye for an Eye-Rina Sawayama

55.)        Winner Takes All-Nita Strauss, Alice Cooper

56.)        METAL KINGDOM-BabyMetal

57.)        Divine Attack-Shingeki-BabyMetal

58.)        Mirror, Mirror-BabyMetal

59.)        MAYA-BabyMetal

60.)        Believing-BabyMetal

61.)        Monochrome-BabyMetal

62.)        Trees We’ll Never See-Amy Grant

63.)        Eminence front (Life)-The Who with Orchestra

64.)        Man on the Silver Mountain-Paul Gilbert

65.)        Holy Diver-Paul Gilbert

66.)        Heaven and Hell-Paul Gilbert

67.)        Screaming Suicide-Metallica

68.)        Lux AEterna-Metallica

69.)        If Darkness Had A Son-Metallica

70.)        Whipping Post-Jenn Ford

71.)        Hotel California-Jenn Ford

72.)        Eagle Flight-Revolution Saints

73.)        Talking Like Strangers-Revolution Saints

74.)        Need Each Other-Revolution Saints

75.)        Crime of the Century-Revolution Saints

76.)        Bed of Roses-Ian Hunter, Ringo Starr, Mike Campbell

77.)        You’ll Never Be Alone-Sweet & Lynch

78.)        Lights (Live)-Neal Schon, Deen Castronovo

79.)        Another Celebration At The End of the World-Mammoth WVH

80.)        Out of Pocket-Black Stone Cherry

81.)        Judgement Day-Kings of Chaos

Resparking the cover band

 Thinking of trying the cover band idea again, open to input.  Here are the songs I'd like the band to know after all my years in music and as I get back into the Rock Band games to get out of the rage and fear mindset of 2016 to 2021.

Songs from Beatles; Rock Band I want my cover band to know to play:
-Yellow Submarine
-Day Tripper
-I Want You (She’s So Heavy)
-Come Together
-Here Comes The Sun
-Something
-Dig A Pony
-Octopus’s Garden

Songs from Rock Band 3 I want my cover band to know to play:
-Ignorance by Paramore
-See You Again by Miley Cyrus
-Brick by Boring Brick by Paramore
-Wanted Dead or Alive by Bon Jovi
-Start All Over by Miley Cyrus
-Crazy Train by Ozzy Osbourne
-Breaking the Law by Judas Priest
-Rainbow in the Dark by Dio
-The Trooper by Iron Maiden
-Wasted Years by Iron Maiden
-I Want You To Want Me by Cheap Trick
-Dream Police by Cheap Trick
-Saturday Night Special by Lynyrd Skynyrd
-Simple Man by Lynyrd Skynyrd
-Fat Bottomed Girls by Queen

-Godzilla by Blue Oyster Cult
-The Who Superbowl S-mashup
-Over the Mountain by Ozzy Osbourne
-No More Tears by Ozzy Osbourne
-Free Bird by Lynyrd Skynyrd

Songs I’ve heard live that I’d want my cover band to play (not counting above):
-Party by Demi Lovato
-GNO by Miley Cyrus
-Jolene by Dolly Parton (Miley Cyrus version)
-The Climb by Miley Cyrus
-I Can’t Drive 55 by Sammy Hagar
-Why Can’t This Be Love by Van Halen
-Heavy Metal by Sammy Hagar
-Whole Lotta Love by Led Zeppelin
-Rock and Roll by Led Zeppelin
-Misty Mountain Hop by Led Zeppelin
-Stairway to Heaven by Led Zeppelin
-Immigrant Song by Led Zeppelin
-Fortunate Son by Creedence Clearwater Revival (Dead Daisies version)
-Some Gave All by Billy Ray Cyrus
-Stand Still by Billy Ray Cyrus
-Call me the Breeze by J.J. Cale (Lynyrd Skynyrd version)
-Words by Heart by Billy Ray Cyrus
-Achy Breaky Heart by Billy Ray Cyrus
-Tulsa Time, Billy Ray Cyrus and Joe Perry version
-Folsom Prison Blues by Johnny Cash (Billy Ray Cyrus version)
-Johnny B. Goode by Chuck Berry
-Tarot Woman by Rainbow
-Neon Knights by Black Sabbath
-Heaven and Hell by Black Sabbath
-Iron Man by Black Sabbath
-After Forever by Black Sabbath
-Fairies Wear Boots by Black Sabbath
-War Pigs by Black Sabbath
-Paranoid by Black Sabbath
-Victim of Changes by Judas Priest
-Redeemer of Souls by Judas Priest
-Burn by Deep Purple (Dead Daisies version)
-Mistreated by Deep Purple (Whitesnake version)
-Lady Double-Dealer by Deep Purple (Whitesnake version)
-Stormbringer by Deep Purple (Whitesnake version)
-The Gypsy by Deep Purple
-Is This Love by Whitesnake
-Still of the Night by Whitesnake
-Long Live Rock and Roll by Rainbow
-Let it Go by Idina Menzel
-Pour Some Sugar on Me by Def Leppard
-Foolin’ by Def Leppard
-Hysteria by Def Leppard
-Photograph by Def Leppard
-Armageddon It by Def Leppard
-She Loves You by The Beatles
-Act Naturally, Beatles version
-You’re Going to Lose That Girl by The Beatles
-Live and Let Die by Paul McCartney and Wings, Guns N Roses version
-The Seeker by The Who, Guns N Roses version
-Sweet Child O Mine by Guns N Roses
-Welcome to the Jungle by Guns N Roses
-You Could Be Mine by Guns N Roses
-Cold Gin by KISS, Ace Frehley and Mike McCready version
-Walk in the Shadows by Queensryche
-Jet City Woman by Queensryche
-The Fight by Operation Mindcrime
-Blood by Queensryche
-I Don’t Believe in Love by Queensryche
-Eyes of a Stranger by Queensryche
-Love Song by Tesla
-Hot Blooded by Foreigner
-Rebel Yell by Billy Idol
-Victim of Love by Eagles
-American Rock n Roll by Don Felder
-Heavy Metal (Take A Ride) by Don Felder
-Unspoken by The Dead Daisies
-Bustle and Flow by The Dead Daisies
-Like No Other 2021 by The Dead Daisies
-Alone by Heart
-Victim of Circumstance by Joan Jett
-Crimson and Clover by Tommy James (Joan Jett version)
-I Love Rock N Roll by The Arrows (Joan Jett version)
-Fallen Angel by Poison
-Every Rose Has Its Thorn by Poison
-Live Wire by Motley Crue
-Dr. Feelgood by Motley Crue
-Kickstart My Heart by Motley Crue
-Take What You Want by Def Leppard
-This Guitar by Def Leppard and Allison Krauss
-Church Bells by Carrie Underwood
-Cry Pretty by Carrie Underwood
-How Great Thou Art, Carrie Underwood version
-Crazy Angels by Carrie Underwood
-Poor Everybody Else by Carrie Underwood

Other songs I’d like my cover band to know
-Malibu by Miley Cyrus
-Love Wins by Carrie Underwood
-Eat Me by Ozzy Osbourne
-Well I Never by Whitesnake
-Outshined by Soundgarden
-Fell On Black Days by Soundgarden
-Rusty Cage by Soundgarden (Artist’s Den version)
-Nothing Compares 2 U by Prince (Chris or Toni Cornell version)
-Wrecking Ball x Nothing Compares 2 U by Miley Cyrus
-Nothing Else Matters by Metallica (Miley Cyrus version)
-Say Hello 2 Heaven by Temple of the Dog (Miley w/ TOTD version)
-Thousand Miles by Miley Cyrus and Brandi Carlile
-FLOWERS by Miley Cyrus
-Double Vision by Foreigner
-I Want to Know What Love Is by Foreigner
-Luv Can by Bon Jovi
-Unbroken by Bon Jovi
-Don’t Cry by Guns N Roses
-Immortal by Ozzy Osbourne and Mike McCready

Twitter acquaintances and fear

 I saw a picture of Abby Trott with Nezuko at the Demon Slayer movie premiere on DeviantArt.  This scares me because they will take any attractive woman and use photoshop to overexaggerate their curves to ridiculous proportions often, and nobody is sacred/off-limits if they’re over 18.  I don’t take her getting hurt well, I still remember when the Supreme Court made “that decision” and I heard the tweets in my head in an upset to the point of tears Annette voice.  It’s like hearing Tara Platt’s Mitsuru/Edelgard cry out in fear at the start of the C rank, it hits this point in my head that infuriates me.  You know that point in Babe where the narrator says “Babe saw why the sheep called dogs ‘wolves,’ and it filled him with a deep a terrible rage” and he proceeds to fight off the dogs?  That’s what happens inside my head when Tara screams, when Abby as Annette cries, I’m ready to kick down a door swinging a weapon around, screaming “I heard shouting, what?!”  You do not mess with these people, they are hilarious, smart and kind.  I would do the same for my own family.  They’ve been like big sisters in my depression and anxiety, which isn’t easy to fight.  You don’t know what you’re doing, you just want it to stop.  You’ll use internet/cable equivalents to drugs, you’ll overspend on music and gaming, you’ll waste time doing things you shouldn’t because you just want the sadness, the fear to stop.  There’s honestly no real reason to be so afraid, yes, there is evil, but there is good, too, and lots of it.  My personal demons are those that say “your empathy is against our law,” but they forget the man I call God would put empathy before the law every time.  If we call ourselves “Little Christs,” let us do the same, let us embrace our LGBTQ+ brothers, sisters and other peoples, dry their tears, bandage their wounds and give them the freedoms and certificates they’ve earned.  And no matter how many times my boss in their game says, “kill your bisexual friend for blaspheming against me!”  I will always refuse.  If that makes me a bad gamer, I’m a bad gamer, but I could never hurt someone who’s been through as much as she has.  And only a handful of people have been able to challenge that fear with kindness and make me go forward, Tara and Abby are two of them.

3/15/2023 Entry

     Well, Endless Summer Vacation was released last week and I've heard the whole album.  It lacks the chill nature of Younger Now, the hot bite of Plastic Hearts and the nostalgia plus drive of Attention Live, but it's still good for me, with good songs like Flowers, Thousand Miles with Brandi Carlile, Muddy Feet with Sia, Violet Chemistry, Wonder Woman (dedicated to her late Grandma) and Flowers (demo).  I would put it and the newly released live tracks from 1973 and 1992 by Trapeze as my favorites so far of this quarter.  I can only say "so far" because BabyMetal is releasing a new album on March 24th and they have the potential to outshine both.

 

    If you were confused by my last entry, the point was I spent years believing a man who only listened to music on an approved list and thought there should be limits on empathy would help me grow spiritually.  Since then, I worry when listening to Heavy Metal or Modern Pop or do something pro-LGBTQ+ in my apartment someone's going to come in and say "That's not what a Christian should do, God is watching you, get right with Him, vote for his chosen politicians or you risk your name being erased from the Book of Life."  This is why I have such trouble with Twitter.  You have wonderful people there who are good and just and life-giving, like Tara Platt, Abby Trott, Jeannie Tirado, Laura Post, Yuri Lowenthal, Laura Bailey, Sarah McKnight, David Coverdale, Joel Hoekstra, Agape and several bishops and pastors.  But it seems for every one of them, there's ten right-wing radicals who want Biden and Harris' blood and ten left-wing radicals who seem convinced America is a lost cause, white Americans are the spawn of Satan and the only solution is to force white Americans to a reservation South of the Mason-Dixon line and East of the Appalachians.  Hopelessness and Anger permeates much of the website and I just want to focus on the good, put out stuff more positive and hopeful than their world is giving me.  Edelgard, Byleth and Annette make me believe it is possible to create a more hopeful world, as do their voice actors and the interactions I've had with them.  I just worry that someday I will lose access to those interactions, then be faced with hopelessness and these demons of the past I have not conquered.  I get paranoid talking about pop music or lesbians in video games and other media there, that some Trump fanatic is going to tear me apart verbally, and I'm back to 10 years ago, scared of this person trying to rip my joys from me, trying to make me something I'm not so aggressively that I cannot respond or think clearly, only feel fear.  Edelgard and Byleth helped me face that fear head-on, Annette rooting for us and reminding us what we were doing was important and would last centuries.  That's why they're my top 3 game characters, they lead me to inner peace, as do the women who play them.

My top 3 game characters

 

               Why are Edelgard, Annette and Byleth my top 3 game characters?  I think there’s quite a few reasons.  I’ve enjoyed characters like the oafish id Bowser, Rise Kujikawa, who helped me understand the world of pop music and how hellish it is to deal with entertainment “news” sites who seek to tear them down for being human, Elizabeth and Petra, who colorize sentences by rearranging them, Monica, ever the hopeless romantic and Yunaka, running from her painful past by trying to create a joyous present.  And all of these are aspects of my own personality.

 

               But, right now, other parts are more dominant.  The outrage at political and religious leaders allying not to create compassion, but devalue any life that is not perfect in their eyes while desiring to create a better life for these people knowing what it’s like to be on the receiving end of their wrath, the Edelgard.  The anxious part worried about failing to accomplish lofty goals, needing someone else to remind them they are doing fine, worried what others they know think of them as they step into the world and make their own decisions, yet enough of a music-loving goofball they don’t notice people around them genuinely care about them for that aspect alone, the Annette.  And lastly, the quiet caretaker, now coming as the fights and anxiety drag on, advocating rest, emotional release, being honest about your feelings and genuine, and also has a bit of a sense of humor just to put a smile on another’s face during rough times, the Byleth. 

 

This aspect is not as perfect at her job as the character in the game, but self-care isn’t just advice, it is a necessity when fear becomes incessant and you worry everything you say will offend or enrage someone.  I’ve been beat down by barrages of comments on Twitter twice, and while it was only twice, the experiences were so unpleasant and the knowledge that it can happen again, especially since anyone can access the website, that I am afraid to post most of the time because I know someone will tear into me like a wolf on a ham hock, joined by their like-minded friends who will add their own eviscerations.  I’ve seen cruelty there for about a decade, when everyone from obsessive conservative  Miley Cyrus “fans” to Michael Sweet “warned” that she was going to Hell by putting down her ability to choose her outfits, Billy Ray and Tish’s decision to not spank her growing up and her support of LGBTQ+ rights by tweeting about Sodom and Gomorrah, Leviticus 20:13, Jesus’ statement on marriage in Matthew, Romans chapter 1 and 1 Corinthians chapter 6.  Even back then, I tried to get these “fans” to stop by telling them Miley had become Buddhist, but they continued and didn’t believe a word I said.  I experienced hatred, blatant ignorance and verbal assault in the name of “correction” on multiple fronts.

 

Here's what it really did.  It didn’t make me stop the behavior they didn’t like.  It made me hate them and have difficulty letting what they said not bother me, because it was clear they thought it was more important to tell me I needed to be homophobic, or hate Miley Cyrus, Amber Heard, Arryn Zech or Edelgard or vote Republican than anything else on my spiritual journey.  They never even asked about online porn.  They never asked about compassion and mercy, or thinking of sports as a game and not life or death between my side and the other side.  I have had a personal nasty streak, as far back as late elementary school/early middle school of wanting to prove the superiority of my stuff to someone else’s, when we just had different experiences, stemming from school sports rivalries.  I still sometimes tense up when someone roots for the Mariners’ opponent, even if they’re not being obnoxious and are just a family of 5 from who knows where.  I sometimes get caught up in the superhero movie battles, feeling DC doesn’t get enough credit for what they do right (Wonder Woman, Aquaman, Birds of Prey).  That is not how God wants us to exist.  But they never asked me about that, they never even tried to sharpen that iron.  It was always about joining their hive mind bent on the unholy matrimony between church and state, which is what drove me to Edelgard in the first place.  If we get rid of the separation of Church and State, we will likely pick a state religion and an official high priest for the country.  From there, it is not a long road to Fodlan, and it seems Trump and a ton of Republican Politicians; DeSantis, Pat Robertson, Kirk Cameron, Franklin Graham, Lauren Boebert, Mitch McConnell, Greg Abbott, Elon Musk, Marjorie Taylor Greene and Sarah Palin are doing all they can to force the United States down that road.

 

It also made me afraid of any repeat.  Many times I sit and cry, scared of how to go forward with these hateful eyes monitoring me.  Big Brother has become too real, only instead of an atheist communist, he’s an Evangelical.  There are millions of him, male and female, judging you by their terms.  Democrats judge, too, if you come across as not caring enough, they abandon you for the mistake.  And with how systematic racism of all kinds and homophobic language has been, even the best of us let something wrong slip out, forgetting the origins of the word or phrase if it isn’t one of the big, mean words that most know by now.  Some also think you don’t care if you don’t donate to all causes and sign every petition, which would stretch the budget of even the wealthiest philanthropist Democrat and exhausts even the kindest of us.

 

As such, often, I’ll just hug the plushes of Edelgard, Annette and Byleth and remember the lunches and tea times in Three Houses, Tara’s calm voice and Abby’s “Yeah, You Got This” one, me putting the three in Smash Bros., taking on all opponents and meeting back up with Edelgard in Engage, where she was a friend to Yunaka and Byleth and a sister once more to Dimitri, willing to talk to anyone that she was programmed to and give advice or humor.  Jeannie Tirado also had good lines as Byleth in Three Houses, Smash Bros. and Heroes and all three have created good memories for me on Twitter, like the time I may have made Tara laugh asking if a tea-drinking Edelgard was listening to the Outlander Theme Song, Bear McCreary’s Godzilla; King of the Monsters soundtrack, Debussy’s “Claire De Lune” or Tara herself rapping as Temari or a large object washes onshore in Japan and she suggests “Momotaro might be inside,” to which I reply “Or it might be a Mothra’s egg,” shortly after seeing the official English language Godzilla twitter has posted a clip of Godzilla about to attack the washed ashore Mothra’s egg in Godzilla vs. Mothra (1964, aka Mothra vs. Godzilla), to which I reply “Hey, I just referenced this with Tara Platt!”  Abby posts the best pictures, such as her joy sudden rage holding her character Nezuko’s Funko Pop box (which I imitated when I got the character and posted with two of her originals and she liked it), smelling the San Francisco anime convention’s carpet (though it always makes me think of Calvin from Calvin and Hobbes saying “I’m alive!  I kiss the sweet ground!”) or a selfie I saved as AbbyTrottTooClose.jpg That one always cheers me up because of how happy she looks.  Jeannie was once playing Spider-Man (presumably for the PlayStation 4) and I asked “Is that the game that stars your Three Houses co-star and her husband?  Tara Platt, Yuri Lowenthal”  Both Tara and Jeannie liked it, as well as a Valentines Day post I made of Edelgard and Byleth.  I have decided to stop posting there in November and try to reduce before that, but I want to keep my connections to Tara, Abby, Jeannie, Laura Post, Laura Bailey, Yuri Lowenthal Sarah McKnight and some musicians open, the Apostle Paul wrote to focus on what is good and life-giving, and I don’t want to go to a life without their kindness and humor.  Every time I see those three plushies or play with those three characters in Smash, I think of the relaxation from tension they have provided, which helps me let go of the scars of the past.

Ending a bad habit

I have decided to quit Twitter.  I will post on Twitter a handful of more days, mostly to celebrate birthdays, real and fictitious, certain Holidays and album release anniversaries for this year, those days being;

3/26-Beck, Bogert, Appice album 50th Anniversary

3/28-50th anniversary of Houses of the Holy

4/9-Long Live Rock N Roll 45th Anniversary, Sakura from Fates’ Birthday

4/16-World Voice Day

4/20-Lucina’s Birthday

4/23-Makoto Niijima’s Birthday

5/8-Abby Trott’s Birthday

5/9-Annette’s Birthday

5/16-My Birthday, ask Yuri, Tara, Abby, Laura Post, Sarah McKnight, Jeannie Tirado and Tyky to wish you a happy birthday (remember to say please) and post top 1989 songs/top music videos.  40th Anniversary of Iron Maiden’s Piece of Mind Album (The Trooper).

5/21-International Tea Day

5/25-Holy Diver 40th Anniversary, Lapis’ Birthday

6/1-Brandi Carlile’s Birthday, Rise Kujikawa’s Birthday, post Pride Month playlist to social media

6/18-Tara Platt’s Birthday

6/22-Edelgard’s Birthday, Xanthe Huynh’s Birthday

6/23-Laura Post’s Birthday

7/17-Vicky Beeching’s Birthday

7/28-Yunaka’s Birthday

8/13-pronounced leh-nerd skin-nerd’s 50th anniversary

9/17-Halloween 2023 Playlist Debuts on social media

10/23-Panette’s Birthday

11/2-Ringo album 50th anniversary (last day)

 

Aside from that, I intend to fully recommit to Facebook and my family.  I am convinced by the evil on Twitter that it will conquer the United States and I will be in prison in the coldest part of this country for arguing for LGBTQ+ rights by 2040.  Leaving is intended to get me to stop thinking such things, and I have to sacrifice the good with the bad.  Plus, I was making myself a nuisance because I saw so few people as good.

 

There was great live music from Trapeze recorded in 1973 and 1992 two weeks ago, as well as another duet remix between The Weeknd and Ariana Grande.  LOVEBITES, a new Japanese woman-sung (possibly all-woman) thrash metal band made themselves known between weeks, and Demi Lovato and Miley Cyrus released great singles last week.  Metallica also released a killer single for their upcoming album.  This week, Miley Cyrus’ album releases, featuring a duet with Brandi Carlile and other unknowns that I think will be worth the surprise, she’s really made her music career something worth paying attention to since 2017’s “Younger Now.”  It comes out Friday, which is also Mario Day (so expect Super Smash Bros. screenshots on that day) and Carrie Underwood’s 40^th Birthday (so expect YouTube videos of my favorites of hers/songs I’m looking forward to from her concert setlist with the impending concert on St. Patrick’s Day).  I might also post something from her opening act, Jimmie Allen, as he did a duet with Noah Cyrus back in 2019-2020, and the solo version is on his setlist.  That’s all for now, I’ll post again later.

Family and Fears

                “I don’t know what to do!” she cried out, hugging her wife, tears streaming down her disheveled face.  “Scared…”

 

Though it was only from a Three Houses fan fiction, there is so much human truth in those words.  I find so much human truth in Crimson Flowers with Annette recruited, fears, uncertainties, a dependency on candies and pastries for comfort for stress, a small, yet loyal and kind friend group misunderstood and despised by so many they meet, and the real comfort is one of my favorite Ben Franklin quotes, “We must all hang together or we shall all hang separately.”  There are echoes of this in Engage; Alear carrying Marth, Yunaka carrying the House Leaders, with Edelgard and Dimitri in agreement Claude is foolish (and he’s not doing much to prove them wrong) and Panette carrying a male Byleth fill similar roles, Edelgard still calls Byleth my teacher, a calm, humorous stranger becomes a confidant of an aggressive, axe-wielding refined lady since neither can stand the status quo that wrecked them, and the protagonist marries a character connected to the Tara Platt voiced Edelgard, which, in a way, brings Yuri Lowenthal’s Marth together with his wife.

 

But, three Fire Emblem games later, and while I enjoy these characters, Petra and Monica, all I feel is I accomplished the franchise’s equivalent of Sentai’s Gokaiger, no future installments will be as fun, it has peaked.  Plus something else; I’m hearing my thoughts scream at me that nothing I do is good enough, that I’m not cleaning enough to keep my apartment (though those who visit say I am), I’m not making good life decisions (yet nothing is going wrong other than spending too much time and money on the Internet to feel less alone) and I know for sure I’m lonely and somehow, I’m more comfortable posting and looking at pictures and screenshots of Edelgard, Annette, Byleth, Alear, Yunaka, Abby Trott, Yuri Lowenthal and Tara Platt than calling a family member.  Is this wrong?  I don’t know anymore, I don’t know how to fight loneliness other than to have smiling faces and funny lines on my computer screen during times when sadness comes uninvited due to loneliness and uncertainty about where my life is going, which seems to be getting more and more frequent.  I have tickets to two concerts and two baseball games, first concert is two weeks from Friday, but that leaves a lot of time alone with my thoughts, which either try to scare me or make me feel worthless.  They tell me the Godzilla series has peaked, neighbors who are homophobic or antisemitic will try to beat their values into me, I will scare away the voice actors I have made small, yet significant bonds with, my family will cut me off for my poor money decisions or that the extremists will seize control of the US Government again, begin homophobic genocide, remove the First Amendment, make the State Religion Southern Baptist Coalition or whatever’s most convenient for them and make it permanent as they align with Putin and set up a column of dictators such as Trump, DeSantis, Pat Robertson, Franklin Graham and Kirk Cameron.  I cannot exist with this fear making my hands tremble and making me weep and long and mourn on an almost-daily basis, and worse, these fears are realistic enough no one can tell me they won’t happen.  I have to confess it, it’s making prayer and my connection with God hard, because I worry He will allow this to happen and they will not be proven to be the devil’s allies and this to be the end times. 

 

What keeps me connected is Jesus choosing to be flogged, humiliated and executed.  I cannot imagine such a God-Man doing that without infinite compassion, which makes me furious that these people act like it is their prerogative and all outsiders are not fit to receive it unless they purge themselves of all thought that criticizes their politics, whether gay marriage, abortion, state religion or the belief that the First Amendment should exist.  I have no doubt that the Republican Party, should it gather enough power, will try to outright annul the First Amendment with Sedition Acts and State Religions that Trump’s puppets will allow and look the other way on.  They will call it a theocracy to pacify their party, when it is a fascist dictatorship that refuses any thought outside a list of what is okay.  With these fears, should I post the pictures to keep my focus away from dark possibility?  Should I lean on my chosen sisters and brothers, or hope my family will respond more like “you know, that requires this country to be enamored with a man so deluded he thinks he’s a superhero and sold pictures of that” than “that’s crazy, that’ll never happen, we’re past the bad stuff.”