Why are Edelgard, Annette and Byleth my top 3 game characters? I think there’s quite a few reasons. I’ve enjoyed characters like the oafish id Bowser, Rise Kujikawa, who helped me understand the world of pop music and how hellish it is to deal with entertainment “news” sites who seek to tear them down for being human, Elizabeth and Petra, who colorize sentences by rearranging them, Monica, ever the hopeless romantic and Yunaka, running from her painful past by trying to create a joyous present. And all of these are aspects of my own personality.
But, right now, other parts are more dominant. The outrage at political and religious leaders allying not to create compassion, but devalue any life that is not perfect in their eyes while desiring to create a better life for these people knowing what it’s like to be on the receiving end of their wrath, the Edelgard. The anxious part worried about failing to accomplish lofty goals, needing someone else to remind them they are doing fine, worried what others they know think of them as they step into the world and make their own decisions, yet enough of a music-loving goofball they don’t notice people around them genuinely care about them for that aspect alone, the Annette. And lastly, the quiet caretaker, now coming as the fights and anxiety drag on, advocating rest, emotional release, being honest about your feelings and genuine, and also has a bit of a sense of humor just to put a smile on another’s face during rough times, the Byleth.
This aspect is not as perfect at her job as the character in the game, but self-care isn’t just advice, it is a necessity when fear becomes incessant and you worry everything you say will offend or enrage someone. I’ve been beat down by barrages of comments on Twitter twice, and while it was only twice, the experiences were so unpleasant and the knowledge that it can happen again, especially since anyone can access the website, that I am afraid to post most of the time because I know someone will tear into me like a wolf on a ham hock, joined by their like-minded friends who will add their own eviscerations. I’ve seen cruelty there for about a decade, when everyone from obsessive conservative Miley Cyrus “fans” to Michael Sweet “warned” that she was going to Hell by putting down her ability to choose her outfits, Billy Ray and Tish’s decision to not spank her growing up and her support of LGBTQ+ rights by tweeting about Sodom and Gomorrah, Leviticus 20:13, Jesus’ statement on marriage in Matthew, Romans chapter 1 and 1 Corinthians chapter 6. Even back then, I tried to get these “fans” to stop by telling them Miley had become Buddhist, but they continued and didn’t believe a word I said. I experienced hatred, blatant ignorance and verbal assault in the name of “correction” on multiple fronts.
Here's what it really did. It didn’t make me stop the behavior they didn’t like. It made me hate them and have difficulty letting what they said not bother me, because it was clear they thought it was more important to tell me I needed to be homophobic, or hate Miley Cyrus, Amber Heard, Arryn Zech or Edelgard or vote Republican than anything else on my spiritual journey. They never even asked about online porn. They never asked about compassion and mercy, or thinking of sports as a game and not life or death between my side and the other side. I have had a personal nasty streak, as far back as late elementary school/early middle school of wanting to prove the superiority of my stuff to someone else’s, when we just had different experiences, stemming from school sports rivalries. I still sometimes tense up when someone roots for the Mariners’ opponent, even if they’re not being obnoxious and are just a family of 5 from who knows where. I sometimes get caught up in the superhero movie battles, feeling DC doesn’t get enough credit for what they do right (Wonder Woman, Aquaman, Birds of Prey). That is not how God wants us to exist. But they never asked me about that, they never even tried to sharpen that iron. It was always about joining their hive mind bent on the unholy matrimony between church and state, which is what drove me to Edelgard in the first place. If we get rid of the separation of Church and State, we will likely pick a state religion and an official high priest for the country. From there, it is not a long road to Fodlan, and it seems Trump and a ton of Republican Politicians; DeSantis, Pat Robertson, Kirk Cameron, Franklin Graham, Lauren Boebert, Mitch McConnell, Greg Abbott, Elon Musk, Marjorie Taylor Greene and Sarah Palin are doing all they can to force the United States down that road.
It also made me afraid of any repeat. Many times I sit and cry, scared of how to go forward with these hateful eyes monitoring me. Big Brother has become too real, only instead of an atheist communist, he’s an Evangelical. There are millions of him, male and female, judging you by their terms. Democrats judge, too, if you come across as not caring enough, they abandon you for the mistake. And with how systematic racism of all kinds and homophobic language has been, even the best of us let something wrong slip out, forgetting the origins of the word or phrase if it isn’t one of the big, mean words that most know by now. Some also think you don’t care if you don’t donate to all causes and sign every petition, which would stretch the budget of even the wealthiest philanthropist Democrat and exhausts even the kindest of us.
As such, often, I’ll just hug the plushes of Edelgard, Annette and Byleth and remember the lunches and tea times in Three Houses, Tara’s calm voice and Abby’s “Yeah, You Got This” one, me putting the three in Smash Bros., taking on all opponents and meeting back up with Edelgard in Engage, where she was a friend to Yunaka and Byleth and a sister once more to Dimitri, willing to talk to anyone that she was programmed to and give advice or humor. Jeannie Tirado also had good lines as Byleth in Three Houses, Smash Bros. and Heroes and all three have created good memories for me on Twitter, like the time I may have made Tara laugh asking if a tea-drinking Edelgard was listening to the Outlander Theme Song, Bear McCreary’s Godzilla; King of the Monsters soundtrack, Debussy’s “Claire De Lune” or Tara herself rapping as Temari or a large object washes onshore in Japan and she suggests “Momotaro might be inside,” to which I reply “Or it might be a Mothra’s egg,” shortly after seeing the official English language Godzilla twitter has posted a clip of Godzilla about to attack the washed ashore Mothra’s egg in Godzilla vs. Mothra (1964, aka Mothra vs. Godzilla), to which I reply “Hey, I just referenced this with Tara Platt!” Abby posts the best pictures, such as her joy sudden rage holding her character Nezuko’s Funko Pop box (which I imitated when I got the character and posted with two of her originals and she liked it), smelling the San Francisco anime convention’s carpet (though it always makes me think of Calvin from Calvin and Hobbes saying “I’m alive! I kiss the sweet ground!”) or a selfie I saved as AbbyTrottTooClose.jpg That one always cheers me up because of how happy she looks. Jeannie was once playing Spider-Man (presumably for the PlayStation 4) and I asked “Is that the game that stars your Three Houses co-star and her husband? Tara Platt, Yuri Lowenthal” Both Tara and Jeannie liked it, as well as a Valentines Day post I made of Edelgard and Byleth. I have decided to stop posting there in November and try to reduce before that, but I want to keep my connections to Tara, Abby, Jeannie, Laura Post, Laura Bailey, Yuri Lowenthal Sarah McKnight and some musicians open, the Apostle Paul wrote to focus on what is good and life-giving, and I don’t want to go to a life without their kindness and humor. Every time I see those three plushies or play with those three characters in Smash, I think of the relaxation from tension they have provided, which helps me let go of the scars of the past.
No comments:
Post a Comment