I just can’t take it. Fear rules this building. I live 2 doors down from a Trumpist who may be accusing me of drug dealing and listens to homophobia and antisemitism. How long before he punishes me for having Queen, Miley Cyrus, Vicky Beeching and Judas Priest CDs and listening to Halestorm, having Edelgard and Byleth marry, having Samus and Zelda fight together in Smash Bros. and having a grandma whose maiden name is Ginsburg and whose ancestor wrote “A Wandering Jew in Brazil” about his willing conversion to Methodism and becoming a missionary? How many more times must I endure proselytizers outside Planned Parenthood saying “life begins at conception” with the unwritten message “unless you choose to be a f*g.” How many more times must I see picket signs outside my Church condemning me because we ordained lesbian weddings? When will the hate end and they stop rioting against my soul? I ache, not because some divine light is upon me, but because man’s cruelty knows no depth it won’t sink to. And so Fear to the point of paranoia becomes an almost-constant companion, keeping me inside my apartment, afraid to act. I want this off my head. I know this isn’t what God wants for me, this is what the deeply cruel men and women have afflicted upon me and called just. But they seem so numerous, my apartment, on-line, the bus, anywhere, someone has hate against a brutalized group on their lips and think they deserve more. How do you be strong against such a force?
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