Stress-release valve

     Every email list I'm following is telling me to donate money to their work, and I don't have the budget and possibly the funds to donate.  I have to make more payments this month and I can't afford to donate, or my housekeeper is unpaid and I can't get the deluxe edition of "Slippery When Wet" by Bon Jovi, the 1986 album that gave us "Wanted Dead Or Alive" and other hits.  I'm not enjoying this, I'm drinking so much soda because I don't trust my food stamps to last into every next month, but the caffeine makes it all so much worse.  I'm having to shut down how much I look at these emails because I'm getting the urge to kill some people who share my building with me, I even flipped off one of them, though she didn't notice.

 

    I feel like if I don't do enough, they will come to haul my LGBTQ+ friends off to die and I will be left and I need to die with them.  There is no hope.  The culture has shifted to worship Trump and soon, all art will be propaganda, all news will be propaganda and they will kill millions for having a different opinion.  It will be worse than the Holocaust and they have already begun demanding the world join them in fascism.  There will be no term limit.  I can't donate to the left-leaning causes any more than $20 a month to Faithful America and $20 a month to the Pride Foundation IF I still have my SSDI payments.  They will starve me to death and make me homeless.  I just feel if I could donate to Daily Kos and MoveOn more than $1,000 a week each, it'd all go away.  But there's no way I can afford that.  All I can do is post African-American baseball players and music to BlueSky and post LGBTQ+ music and couples in entertainment and hope that is enough.  I am devastated by "Date Everything" getting held back to June, because it was to be my new way of speaking out on social media by dating both genders, as you need to date all 100+ characters to beat the game.  Now I have to wait until then and the end of May for it and "Rune Factory; Guardians of Azuma," where I can do same-gender marriage and plan to have the girl protagonist marry Clarice, a soldier-type who is hard on herself to the point she "can't forgive herself" and "doesn't know why people are nice to her."  This character trait was on full display with both Edelgard and Dimitri in Fire Emblem; Three Houses.  I'm so messed up and sad.  I worry sports teams will stop celebrating minorities because of Federal pressure.  I worry I'm going to kill someone because the pressure is so high, the evil is so dark and there feels like nothing I can do, what stops me is knowing if I do, all my causes die with my arrest as they pick apart my laptop and history.  I often feel like I can't do this anymore because I'm just so pressured and I don't feel like I can do enough.  Please check out my BlueSky page: https://bsky.app/profile/danielshort89.bsky.social and tell me if I'm doing enough.  Facebook feels too dark to make a difference right now.