Did it hurt this much, Jon? To never know if what you do is enough, to always struggle do more with nothing, to feel like nothing was “enough” because you can see the goal, but as you run to it, with every game, actor, actress, song, singer you can, just trying to end the need to hole up, they hit you where it hurts. To want to just seal us all up in a fortress, safe from the hurt, even if it cost you your life. To lash out because it keeps hurting and you just want to be a shield. To just want it done, want them away from all this, want the politicians to stop, want a rainbow fortress that will not crumble because you can’t make them safe enough. To curse out the ones who refuse to understand and hate your own mouth for doing so. To feel you at your best was never enough.
My uncle Jon was a UMC pastor who fought for LGBTQ+ rights and inclusion against ruthless homophobia. He died 11/30/2018 of a heart attack.
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