I never should've even slightly said violence is our way out. Not many civilians are equipped to protect themselves in a clash with authorities, and I was only fantasizing about thousands swarming the White House and maybe Congress to force change. It was desperation because I'm terrified. Trump told the ruler of El Salvador to build 5 more places because "Homegrowns are next." That says to me I could be shipped off and beaten to death by prison guards just for having this blog, or my BlueSky account. That fear made me consider drastic measures, also the feeling of hopelessness due to systemic homophobia which seems to have empowered Republicans dramatically. I also worry they will forbid Latin Americans from playing baseball in the Major and Minor Leagues to forcibly remove them from the United States, and a good chunk of American baseball is played by Latin Americans, such as Julio Rodriguez, Randy Arozarena, Jose Ramirez, Elly De La Cruz, Ramon Laureano and many, many others. But my fears are no excuse for considering a path such as violence.
Anyway, June holds promise; it is Pride Month and I plan on seeing two Mariner games and going to a convention in Puyallup. The Mariners games are Pride Night vs. the Orioles and African-American heritage night against the Guardians. The Mariners have revealed a great logo for Pride Night and Seattle Steelheads caps they will be giving away for African-American Heritage night.
Washington State Summer Con will also have a lot of people whose work I enjoy; Jodi Benson, Charles Martinet, Ben Diskin, Cristina Vee, Ray Chase, the Turtles and April from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles the 1987 show and the 1990 live-action movie and the voice of Mr. Crocker from Fairly Oddparents (FAIRIES!). My goals for the day are to get a photo with Ben Diskin with my Momo Ayase plush and my Retsuko Funko Pop and an autograph from Cristina Vee on my Sailor Moon Season 1, Part 1 DVD. I will later tell my Mom this in the hopes she will pay for part of it.
I've been avoiding reality pretty hard, spending most days watching YouTube videos, though I tend to drift from subject to subject pretty quickly. I guess I'm afraid of videos becoming stale. I also play songs that are iTunes-exclusive in iTunes and most else in Spotify. Most of it these days are Led Zeppelin, Black Sabbath, Rush, The Beatles and Miley Cyrus. I know I should exercise, but I'm terrified of the world right now. I'm trying to get back into Unicorn Overlord because Cristina Vee's in it and I honestly want to finish it. I'm so tired and sleep often. Not much has changed in my daily life, but I just don't want to be so afraid anymore. I need help, a job and good food. I'm so exhausted.
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