Rough Draft of Pride Month playlist

     A tradition of mine is to have a playlist of LGBTQ+ artists for June, based on the releases and experiences with the community in the previous year and traditional favorites (Judas Priest's "Breaking the Law" and Miley Cyrus' version of "Nothing Else Matters," originally by Metallica and recently "Bohemian Rhapsody" by Queen as a finale).  This has the potential to change before June because I'm already planning on some tracks from Miley's new "Something Beautiful" album and more may seem necessary depending on how much I like them, plus the ones I picked may not hold up when I actually hear them.  Anyway, this is my first version of this traditional playlist.

 

1.)    Prelude-Miley Cyrus

2.)    Little Richard’s Bible-Elton John, Brandi Carlile

3.)    The Giver-Chappell Roan

4.)    Running Wild (Live)-Judas Priest

5.)    FLOWERS-Miley Cyrus

6.)    Who Believes In Angels-Elton John, Brandi Carlile

7.)    Psycho Killer-Miley Cyrus

8.)    Love Wins-Carrie Underwood

9.)    Breaking The Law-Judas Priest

10.) Riding On The Wind (Live)-Judas Priest

11.) Pink Pony Club-Chappell Roan

12.) Never Too Late-Elton John, Brandi Carlile

13.) Something Beautiful-Miley Cyrus

14.) End Of The World-Miley Cyrus

15.) A Little Light-Elton John, Brandi Carlile

16.) The Edge Of Dawn-FamlyJules, Adriana Figueroa

17.) Don’t Call Me Angel-Ariana Grande, Miley Cyrus, Lana Del Rey

18.) You Without Me-Brandi Carlile

19.) More To Lose-Miley Cyrus

20.) The Story-Brandi Carlile

21.) It’s OK to Cry-Jules!

22.) Raise Hell-Brandi Carlile

23.) Panic Attack-Judas Priest

24.) Sinner (Live)-Judas Priest

25.) Easy Lover-Miley Cyrus

26.) Coconuts-Kim Petras

27.) HOT TO GO!-Chappell Roan

28.) Supernatural-Ariana Grande, Troye Sivan

29.) Right on Time-Brandi Carlile

30.) II MOST WANTED-Beyonce, Miley Cyrus

31.) If She Ever Leaves Me-The Highwomen

32.) Walk of Fame-Miley Cyrus, Brittany Howard

33.) Broken Horses-Brandi Carlile

34.) The Wonder Of The Cross-Vicky Beeching

35.) Swing For The Fences-Elton John, Brandi Carlile

36.) Every Girl You’ve Ever Loved-Miley Cyrus, Naomi Campbell

37.) A Hard Day’s Night-Billy Preston

38.) The Chain-The Highwomen

39.) Tie Your Mother Down-Brandi Carlile

40.) All You Need Is Love-Brandi Carlile

41.) Victim Of Changes (Live)-Judas Priest

42.) Fat Bottomed Girls (Live)-Queen

43.) Give Me Love-Miley Cyrus

44.) Breaking the Law (Live)-Judas Priest

45.) Nothing Else Matters-Miley Cyrus, Andrew Watt, Elton John, Robert Trujillo, Yo-Yo Ma, Chad Smith

46.) Bohemian Rhapsody-Queen

 

Mother's Day and some positivity

     After writing yesterday's post, it became clear to me I just want to be left alone to my own devices and desires.  There is a lot of pressure right now to be a perfectionist online.  I dearly love Gal Gadot and Carrie Underwood, but a lot of people aligned with me politically view them as enemies of all that is good.  I really can't take it; I don't like that I posted Gal doing charades with Miley Cyrus on Gal's Birthday and blocked all but the people I follow from commenting and only used Miley hashtags.  

 

    But there are some bright spots.  I'm going to see the Canadian Eagles tribute "Take It To The Limit" on Saturday, I'm planning on going to the Seattle Mariners' Pride Night against the Baltimore Orioles in less than a month, as well as African-American Heritage Night against the Cleveland Guardians.  I also have a ticket for Washington State Summer Con, much like last year, though hopefully I won't lock my keys in the apartment this time.  The guests I want to meet the most are Jodi Benson (Ariel in all Disney projects involving her (save the live-action movie)), Charles Martinet (voice of Mario, Luigi, Wario, Waluigi, Mario and Luigi's Dad and Giuseppe in the Mario series) and Ben Diskin (Caspar and Lorenz in Fire Emblem; Three Houses, Haida in Aggretsuko, an alien in DanDaDan, Black Doom in the most recent Sonic the Hedgehog game and Merkava in Blazblue Crosstag Battle). I also have plans in September for a Billy Idol concert with Joan Jett opening and the Seattle Mariners vs. the Los Angeles Dodgers.  Date Everything, the video game, comes out mid-June and features Travis Willingham as a microwave, Laura Bailey as a hamper, Johnny Yong Bosch as her dirty laundry, Abby Trott as a shelf, Matthew Mercer as a D20 and Steve Blum as a table.  I'm really hoping it doesn't get delayed again, it looks pleasant.

 

    I'm honestly having trouble keeping focus to play and finish video games other than my weekly stuff on Thursdays with Persona 4 Arena Ultimax, Naruto; Road to Boruto Switch fighting game (not the official title) and Super Smash Bros. Ultimate.  I keep doing it because Dorothy Fahn, the voice of Mercedes in Fire Emblem; Three Houses, Tai's Mom and Lilymon in Digimon and Konan in Naruto, likes the posts on BlueSky.  I also share Dodgers (and sometimes Angels) highlights with her, too.

 

Here are some playlists for Mother's Day, the first time I've celebrated my sister-in-law being a Mother: 

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLlPWtMe7zpdedq1a0GQ3UKeR6yUQNLdPU

 

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/45E91jCAoAzhyR9jKJsKKb?si=f823957d91d44742

 

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/13DdVoDpINWCBEwrSnb2vX?si=99c6d30184b5489e This is my sister-in-law's playlist.

Ouch

     I can't take it.  All these seismic upheavals of freedom hit me where it hurts.  I'm not a guy who wants to say "Zed" instead of "Z" or flip off the stars and stripes, but I feel that is what I must do because of all this darkness.  Some YouTube user made a video of an AI voice recording, stealing Abby Trott's voice.  I want to murder them for violating someone so great and funny.  I have a very strong sense of "you can't do that" and it is getting pummeled by not just my country, but all of Western Civilization saying "I'll do it anyway."  Trolls are not exclusive to the United States, I've been on the Internet 25 years and know this.  Trolls are also not exclusively Republican, there are people who will mock you who will have BLM and LGBTQ+ Rights in their username.  I just want to be left alone right now and make my own decisions.  I used to not care about fitting in or being popular, but when you try to get a message out, even if it's just distracting entertainment, and you don't get likes online, it feels demoralizing and saddening.  I feel like I need to call 988 soon.  It isn't just politics; my family won't get back to me on my plans, my plans feel like they're going to get me arrested because of the troll-people so many Republicans are and they will say the Mariners' Pride game has terrorists, I feel like I have to post Blue Jays clips to BlueSky to apologize for the dark hole of shit the administration is to Canada, people have a sense of self-entitlement, and I'm the only one who knows what art or stories I want and I can't draw or write them.

Impulsiveness

     Another Pray.com email that almost seemed tailor-made for me.  I struggle with impulsiveness a lot, forgetting that things take time and go through a process.

 

How does impatience affect our relationship with God?

Impatience can lead to costly mistakes.

Acts of insecurity and impatience begin a domino effect of chaos.

In 1 Samuel 13, we encounter Saul facing a crucial moment as king of Israel. The Philistines gather their forces for battle against Israel, and Saul musters his troops, waiting for Samuel the prophet to arrive and offer sacrifices before the Lord. However, as the days pass and Samuel fails to appear, Saul's impatience grows, and he makes a fateful decision.

Instead of waiting for Samuel as instructed, Saul takes matters into his own hands and offers the burnt offering himself, violating God's commandments and presuming upon the role reserved for the priest.

Saul thinks he can do it all. He’s gravely mistaken.

His impulsive action reveals a lack of trust in God's timing and a failure to recognize the importance of obedience and submission to divine authority.

Saul's impatience not only results in disobedience but also begins a domino effect in Saul’s life. It is the first of many small compromises he makes as King, prompting Samuel's rebuke and the pronouncement of God's judgment upon Saul's kingdom. The consequences of Saul's rashness extend far beyond the immediate moment, setting the stage for future conflicts and challenges in his reign.

This episode serves as a cautionary tale about the dangers of impatience in our walk with God. When we grow restless and discontented with God's timing, we may be tempted to take matters into our own hands, disregarding His instructions and seeking quick solutions to our problems. However, such impulsive actions often lead to unforeseen consequences and hinder God's purposes in our lives.

 

     I am stressed out.  I sometimes go to pages I am currently on by accident, I'm crying more than usual, and I can't deal with most days unless I hear my Tara Platt/Abby Trott playlist: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLlPWtMe7zpdf-8g36hpHGO_NmKY5Vsrou That and video analyses by a guy named PolterGibbst, as well as Pokemon Shining Pearl and DVDs, are my escapism right now.  A lot has become tainted with Political reminders, which really makes me think it was inevitable that the United States' hyper-patriotism and worship of the military was inevitably going to lead to fascism and extermination of minorities.  There are two voices constantly fighting inside of me, one demanding total perfection towards the minorities and one that is a worn-out child, clinging to old things and not wanting to be militaristic.  Also, I got the identity of the singing guitarist from Ms. Rachel wrong, their name is Jules and they are non-binary.  So Mom was right in saying they look trans (because they are, somewhat), but based on their Wikipedia bio, that's not the reason they were hired, so I was right in that regard.  Her reaction also reminded me of a bit in that bio that said parents didn't like people with "they/them" pronouns in children's programming, and I feel "if they want to do it, they should have the right to do that."  

 

    I believe the next wide protest is May 1st.  I kind of want to make a sign, but I have misplaced my markers.

 

    I'm going to the Warren Haynes concert in Seattle tomorrow and am looking forward to it.

I'm sorry to do another one of these posts...

     ...but I've honestly lost all hope.  This IS the Great Tribulation.  Trump IS the devil/the antichrist.  AI and his merchandise IS the mark on the head and hand, which WILL remove you from the Book of Life.  And we have NO idea when Jesus is going to set things right, it could be 3 and a half years, it could be 42 years.  The point is, I AM DEFINITELY going to be sent to an El Salvador concentration camp sometime between now and August.  My last entertainment experience was either today with "A Minecraft Movie," or it will be the Mariners' Pride game or getting the Haru Okamura Pop-Up Parade figure from Amazon in July.  I want to see the "Something Beautiful" movie, the new "Jurassic World" that has ScarJo with my Mom and the second part of the "Wicked" movie, but that almost certainly isn't going to happen.  I've almost completely run out of space in my apartment, my job coach is not helping me get the jobs I'm sending him, so I will soon have no income, and if I ran away to Canada, Trump would send the military to bomb Vancouver to be rid of a blogger who once told his enemies to try to kill him and destroy Nashville and Dallas.  I will likely be one of the first arrested when the hammer comes down and it WILL come down VERY SOON, likely before my Birthday next month.  The protests on April 5th played into his hands, he will cite that as an "insurrection" to criminalize the Democrat Party and begin arrests of people he deems dangerous.  I will go and Yuri Lowenthal, Chris Hackney and Liam O'Brien's BlueSky accounts will fall silent as they get shipped off to the death prisons where they will be beaten and raped.  YouTube gaming and music is the only thing that keeps me afloat.  It's over.

A good reminder from Pray.com

     I've subscribed to a Christian email list that sends me Biblical messages every day.  This one was particularly profound, so I'm sharing it:

 

“Revenge is a sign of moral weakness.”

 

What’s the difference between justice and revenge?

Justice is for the greater good, while revenge indulges our emotions.

The escalating cycle of vengeance between Samson and the Philistines reaches its zenith in Judges 15, illustrating the destructive power of unchecked anger and the absence of wisdom in leadership. Samson, driven by personal grievance rather than divine directive, embarks on a path of retribution that sees entire communities caught in the crossfire of his wrath.

This chapter highlights Samson's physical strength but exposes the limitations of his character.

His actions, while devastating to the Philistines, also bring suffering to his people. When we give in to our anger and hate, people we love get hurt.

This episode of Bible in a Year serves as a cautionary tale about the consequences of personal vengeance and the importance of seeking God's guidance before we move. It also challenges the notion that strength and victory are achieved through force alone.

We must seek strength that is tempered by wisdom.

Our greatest battles are not always against external enemies. They are often against the impulses within us that lead us away from God's purposes.

How to apply Three Hundred Foxes and a Jawbone: Reflect on the ways in which you might be allowing personal grievances or anger to dictate your actions. Consider how such motivations align with God's desires for justice, mercy, and reconciliation. This week, seek to understand the difference between pursuing personal vendettas and seeking justice in a manner that reflects God's heart.  

 

 

    I don't think it's any secret that I'm struggling with revenge-based thinking, a sort of "you threaten and hurt the communities I care about, I will want you dead."  Anger about the situation is more than okay, but when those thoughts turn to violence, at the very least you will hate yourself or make excuses that the deaths of good people are necessary casualties to get rid of the bad ones.  This is where I'm struggling, because I have very black and white thinking, which hasn't helped me at all.  I would appreciate your prayers.

No foolin', been in a dark place

    I think I have to admit it, I have an internet problem.  Every day, I am inundated with bad news in email and BlueSky due to the messed-up politics of the United States.  I even only refer to it as the United States, because the term "American" should no longer be monopolized by that country, it is a sign of our head-up-our-ass arrogance to assume the United States is the only America, forgetting that many other countries exist on North and South America.  I often hear the many international laws and statutes Trump is breaking as he sends civilians to be tortured in El Salvador from voice actors, plus his funding of Israel's genocide and the ongoing voice acting strike against the video game companies, who seek to replace them with AI by having access to their performances and feeding them into the program to read lines, saving the CEOs and no one else money and forcing the voice actors to be homeless or work minimum wage jobs.  Elon Musk has targeted Social Security for dismantling and I get told if the election tonight doesn't turn out right, it is likely the program will die within 82 days.

 

    I was hoping my last weekend at my brother and sister-in-law's place would calm me down, but they put on Ms. Rachel, who has a singing guitarist named Jewel who looks like Brandi Carlile.  Mom has been trying to figure out the Trump voter's mind, since she knows they aren't bone-stupid, and outright said "I think Trump voters see what I see in this show.  Do they have to have someone who looks like a trans woman with a nose ring?" I replied she looks like Brandi Carlile and that Brandi was on Sesame Street and she said, "Oh, Sesame Street--" about to disparage it before my brother lampshaded her.  It stuck with me because this is the kind of stuff I hear on the internet from transphobes and homophobes, the belief that LGBTQ+ people are literally everywhere and only get to be so because the media is specifically hiring them for their orientation, not their relevant qualities.  This "agenda mentality" is present in people who have made my life Hell online, using the term "woke" and thinking these people lack appropriate talent.  I've always seen it as when being gay or otherwise interested in the same gender comes up in entertainment writing, it is because the company wants to reach out to the community, maybe bandage the long-time wounds they've gotten at home or school.  Sometimes, LGBTQ+ people help them make these decisions, the voice actresses of Sapphic couple Yang and Blake in RWBY are interested in both men and women.  These people are oppressed, Amanda Winn-Lee pointed out the United States' treatment of trans people fits all the qualities of genocide, there is statements of "straight power" and other barbaric behavior online, especially corrective rape and murder of lesbian and bisexual characters.  DeviantArt continually draws Yang being raped or as a servant of Deku from My Hero Academia, even taking her screenshots with Blake and redrawing them with him.  I also believe Edelgard from Fire Emblem; Three Houses is mostly not on that website because they hate her for being an icon for lesbian/bisexual women.

 

    I have spoken in an annihilistic fashion, but it is only because I see this when it did not exist 10 years ago, which says to me we are on a path to killing these people en masse, especially with the downfall of democracy in the States.  I can easily see this country building Auschwitz-style death camps in the coming months to wipe this community and its allies out, especially because even if a Federal Judge will say "no," Trump and Musk will simply say, "I'm not going to listen to you," do it anyway and get their minions in Congress to criminalize all Federal Judges.  This country has the potential right now to eclipse Nazi Germany in expansion and genocide under the current mentality, ignoring policies built to say "don't let this happen again."  It infuriates me so much I want the Republicans to see who they are, monsters who are destroying the world, but they will feel nothing if Seattle or Los Angeles is destroyed, rather, they will laugh in triumph.  If another nation is to strike militarily on the United States, strike Washington DC to try to kill the politicians, Nashville for being the right's Hollywood, and Dallas for being another key right-wing city.  I don't like talking like this, but I can see the hate, the arrogance, the bigotry and the prejudice in what they say and would not hesitate to say it is worse than the Nazis thanks to their ability to infiltrate every safe space thanks to the internet.  Since we are such a danger to the world, I genuinely think a solution would be to annihilate the entire United States, just to declare this attitude has no place on this planet anymore and to keep it from spreading.