Really rough

     Last night, I wrote this and posted it to Facebook for 5 minutes: "Nobody listens, everyone is mocking me or being unhelpful, evil rules the world and the Churches and will not leave and won't even beat me up or kill me when I ask them to, just to heighten my suffering.  I guess I've treated all my friends like punching bags.  I want to die.  Nintendo hates me because Azure Gleam and Silver Snow are canon, while Crimson Flowers is not, just to hurt me.  The Yankees and Astros are getting all the Free Agents and trades and the Mariners can't buy a penny, just to hurt me.  No major band or musician will ever come to Seattle at a point that's convenient or affordable for me, just to hurt me.  I want someone to come into my apartment and beat me within an inch of my life, then stab me, just to end it.  I want to die.  I've even insulted my neighbor and he isn't coming over to end me.  I want him to end me.  I want him to kill me and get the Presidential Medal of Freedom for doing so.  Please kill me.  I want to die."

    Some hours of sleep has improved my mood, but I still feel down.  I really feel, based on the Heroes in Fire Emblem Heroes, Nintendo is giving a middle finger to all the Edeleth fans by focusing on elements from Azure Gleam and Silver Snow, to the point I expect them to say those are canon and Crimson Flowers is not.  This will hurt loads of LGBTQ+ people who draw Edelgard and Byleth, or pro-Edelgard art.

    Despite my warnings about AI on Facebook, people still use it and I lack the self-control to talk to them directly about it.  I feel AI is going to be a corporate dream as thousands, if not millions, are fired and made homeless under the incoming administrations' "Richer at any cost" policies.  Eventually, all the imagery and other AI output will solely be pro-Trump/MuX propaganda and history revision.

    Speaking of the rich getting richer, the Yankees and Astros got everything they wanted while the Mariners struggle to make transactions.  This is extremely painful as a baseball fan, because only certain teams who are already winners get anything while we get nothing.  We received two players this offseason and most have overlooked them and it also feels like we're going to have to throw prospects into MLB before they're ready.

    Someone claimed Ariana Grande would be doing a stadium tour this year.  It hasn't been announced.  I can't afford Hwasa and Linkin Park is in Seattle 2 days before I see the Mariners play the Dodgers.  My concert experiences planned for this year so far are a band playing along to speedruns of Super Mario World and F-Zero at the Wild Buffalo and an Eagles tribute at the Mt. Baker Theatre.

    I no longer wish for violence or death, but I feel strained and overworked for no reward.  I'm going to call 988 later today, because I don't think this is going anywhere.  I can't deal with this alone and that's how I feel I'm dealing with it.  I really want this painful part to end.