Social Media Issues and more

     I wrote this just now because the stress is getting to me. 

I feel I had a full-blown panic attack last night.  Yesterday felt like a beating, just absorbing all this craziness going on.  Los Angeles erupted in flames, making me worry about Yuri Lowenthal, Tara Platt, Abby Trott and Jeannie Tirado.  I also fear the right-wing saying God caused the fires to punish the sinners, ignoring the lessons of Job and Jesus talking about a pillar that fell upon some people.  Just because you suffer or have pain, it doesn’t mean you’re a terrible sinner.  Also, YouTube’s algorithm is showing me a ton of unhelpful, stupid videos on my front page and Trump apparently wants to invade Canada, Greenland and Panama.

 

              I honestly wonder sometimes if my anxiety makes social media impossible, since I get fits of rage and panic due to it, yet I want to use it to speak out and keep tabs on my favorite voice actors and artists.  I feel if I don’t, there’s no chance things will get better and everyone will think Christianity and the LGBTQ+ community are incompatible, when I’ve met two lesbian couples and a gay man at my current Church and some of them have leadership roles.  I like keeping up with my family, as well, my cousin crocheted a plush that, in its unfinished form, looks like a Luma from Super Mario and two of my aunts are always there when I feel down.  Still, there’s a lot of unhelpfulness and panic/anger, which may be distorting my concept of reality.

 

              I’m really trying to use Spotify more this year since I barely used it last year.  Already, I’m playing “Landslide” and “Saturday Night Special” a ton because it’s the 50^th anniversary year for those songs, as well as Miley Cyrus’ new song “Beautiful That Way.”  I’m also playing a lot of video game music from GaMetal and FamilyJules.  I’m also playing Legend of Zelda; Echoes of Wisdom and Fairy Tail 2 for the Switch, though I’m noting my anxiety is making playing video games harder.  I’m getting too scared of missteps and that my screenshots won’t be liked on social media.  I’m really hoping to get “Date Everything” on Valentine’s Day, provided the incoming administration doesn’t ban video games by then, which I wouldn’t be afraid of if it wasn’t for someone’s YouTube thumbnail.  I think you can tell I’m getting the “harm you” side of the double-edged sword of social media, yet I still don’t want to stop, I don’t want my voice muted.