I am an extreme novice to this subject. Though I’ve seen many sexual images, I do not understand much about it. My father was mostly absent during puberty, and when we met, we never discussed sexuality. My brother had one brief relationship during senior year, then left for college where he found his girlfriend and we do not discuss sexuality. As such, I do not know what is normal when it comes to sexuality. I do not know where the line is between normalcy and a lack of control, is it when you do something sexual daily, is it when you visit internet sites most weekdays for about an hour and a half, when is the line crossed? I do not understand much in it, which is why it is hard to accept people as sexual. When I was younger, I would fantasize sexually about Britney Spears. She had it all and then some physically, but her mental state was beginning to fail. Eventually, with her charges piling, her idiocy climbing and no end in sight, I left her, got some breathing room. As I transferred my obsession of pop singers to the more intelligent Miley Cyrus, I blamed myself for what happened to Britney. Sometimes I think when you’re doing something wrong; God will punish you (not entirely true). Since I believed God punished me, what was a simple “man crush” became a complex obsession, a desire for utter perfection from both of us and a paranoia of a return to form, the “fallen angel” as the metal band Poison called it. I don’t know if Miley’s dancing, short pants and tight clothing is normal sexuality for teenagers or not, since if I can’t understand normal sexuality for men my age, how could I hope to understand it for teenage girls, though I will say what’s been said in interviews suggests more of a normalcy about it from her perspective. The worst thing about sexuality is that once, I took a sex education course in college, expecting to hear about fetishes and try to understand myself. The class was, to this attempt, a colossal waste of time. They described human sexuality as the “natural extension of primate sexuality and the sole intention was to engage in sexual intercourse and bear offspring.” You can choose to believe evolution if you wish, but to me, there is much more to being a human than being the next step up from a chimpanzee. Humans have a divine spark, seen in music, writing, reasoning, entertainment and worship. Because of this, my attempt to understand myself further failed, I wanted to know why I found these things sexy, why I would write many stories about such things based on images of such I saw on the Internet. Homosexuality is not a sin in my eyes, images of what the Internet calls “yuri” or lesbian artwork, is among some of the most beautiful images I have seen. The Jungian representation in my mind of strength and justice meeting kindness and wisdom is represented in a lesbian relationship between the characters of Samus Aran and Princess Zelda from Nintendo. Some may ask about verses about homosexuality, this was the place where the class actually helped (though a discussion on what it means to be a man and a woman in Communications Theory the previous quarter had also helped). Upon hearing the extremely liberal sexuality present in ancient Greek and Roman cultures, where people were expected to be hypersexual, it is clear to me that the Bible is asking people to avoid these cultural demands of the time, to pursue meaningful personal relationships with single partners. To me, homosexuality was made by God so that teenagers who are discovering sex may be able to write and draw sexual situations without inserting people of their sex into the situation, creating all kinds of uncomfortable feelings. However, I will somewhat agree with my Republican friend who once complained that he was afraid of what our children were to think family was due to our increasingly liberal standpoint on marriage. I would miss the traditional nuclear family greatly. In my experience, family is the people you are related to, the people you live with and have bonds to like aunt, uncle, father, mother, cousin and sibling. Family can also mean a greater community, like Christianity, at Church, at Western States Youth Gathering, when I read comments by Christian celebrities I agree with, I feel like I’m home, the love of God is all around and everything is at peace. It is so nice to have people you can love who love you back, so nice to hear words that make you feel not alone. This is what I love most. However, I do love the standard Nuclear Family and believe it is something people should desire.
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