Christianity is my religion, my Faith, my light and my way. I’m an American Jesus Freak and if this gets published, I desire to be placed in the American Christians category on Wikipedia. These days, it feels incredibly hard to follow Jesus in America. I was Baptized in the September after my birth at Garden Street Methodist Church in Bellingham, but I remember mostly being raised in Faith Lutheran Church. While I read my Beginner’s Bible often, I only grasped some basic concepts of the faith, the existence of God, Jesus, various other Biblical people and Heaven. This helped me when my Uncle Jim and Grandparents died, though I was still sad. I would definitely consider myself Christian in those days, but I never felt that deep in the Faith, especially when compared to my family. Due to Mom singing Contemporary Gospel songs in Church and my brother being more involved with the aspects like JRR Tolkien and CS Lewis’ books, the Bible and the community aspect in the High School groups, I felt the least faithful of all the people in my family. Then came 2005, the year when I went to the Western States Youth Gathering in Seattle. When I went, it was a very wonderful experience, learning that God made me as I am; every piece. Contemporary Gospel music and the speeches from nice people helped me realize God was much more than something real I couldn’t process due to the large and odd words used. God is a friend, a mentor and someone who blesses you with love. Jesus is the Lord of all creation, a man who chose to die the bloody death of a criminal and help us understand love, Heaven and God. For several months, God had given me wonderful, beautiful bliss. Then came the day of pain. A flippant atheist attacked me in my junior year of High School at the library. I was working on a film project when a friend from Cub Scouts came over, attacking the Christian religion verbally after agreeing to be in our film. I tried to avoid confrontation, but he babbled on, denouncing everything I stood for. It hurt, and it still hurts. I see many cases of anti-Christian bias here in the United States, especially in film and television like Family Guy, The Da Vinci Code, The Golden Compass and that just scratches the surface. When I saw Family Guy make fun of us, I felt like a stab wound would have been preferable, especially when throughout High School, people obsessed over the show. I am not anti-atheist, but I can’t stand atheists who hate Christianity. Jesus just feels right with me, the community and joyful experience cannot be duplicated. I have met many Christians and they all have been very nice, non-judgmental, friendly, good normal people, I have only read the words of hateful believers. Many may argue I can’t prove Jesus is real or is the Savior. I cannot use evidence through archaeology, world history or science to prove the realities of Jesus, but I can say when Jesus is the Lord of my life, the world falls into place and kindness reigns in my soul. When I doubt, it hurts, I feel wounded and mortified, despised and unable to control my destructive anxiety which calls me stupid, yelling that I have no proof. Doubt may be normal, but while this nation feels like a Nero-led Rome, full of atheist-born lies about Jesus, I do not feel comfortable. Some may argue that I should quit, but this is the coward’s way out for me. Nothing hurts worse than being rejected because of who you are. It may not really be this way, but it feels like almost everyone wants to see Christianity go, see us die and be thrown in prison while laughing that it’s what we deserve for things the worst of us have done, though I know it isn’t.
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