Starting to live life again

 Yesterday, I finally got to a movie theater and saw Godzilla vs. Kong.  First the bad, this was the Monsterverse movie I liked the least of all four that have been made so far. I didn't care about the leading man and the Hollow Earth wasn't as good as something they built up for two movies felt like it should be. The positives? Millie Bobbie Brown's plot, the fights, the ending, them bringing the Skullcrawlers back and they got Judas Priest's "Breaking the Law" in a scene. A good, but not great, movie.

But beyond that, it was the first time I did something that made me feel like I was living since visiting my brother and sister-in-law briefly last year or watching Birds of Prey in theaters way back in February 2020.  And it made me realize some things.

Over the past year, I've been consumed by the inner demons of hopelessness.  The last writing, posted yesterday, was a good example of what a life without hope, without the belief life will get better, looks like.  When you force people to give up their future plans, they lose that sense that the future contains anything worth getting to, other than the afterlife.  It certainly doesn’t help that people descended into madness and re-awoke evil I’ve not heard of in at least decades.  We need hope, we need to believe there is an other side with our tragedies, there is a future where this hurt is going to be memories.  Without it, we can’t get past our sadness and anger.  And I lost it between the length, the politics, the natural disasters and the mass idiocy.  I lost the belief that there was a point where my life would have fun events out of my apartment in the future.  Hope is the thing that makes us truly live.  You can love, you can endure, but without hope, you don’t feel like you can escape the mire and everything painful becomes amplified to such a degree “the pain is so big you feel nothing at all.”  I am very thankful for the things that kept me afloat in the last year; 

 

 

Bumbleby, 

 

 

Edeleth 

 

 

and Shumako, three pairings of strong people who bring out the best in each other, bring out true compassion, love and tenderness.  My hope is that I can help make a future where LGBTQ+ people are free to be as open, honest and without fear as Edelgard and Dorothea were at the end of their B-rank, a world where people trust the name of Jesus again and a world where we share love and joy across cyberspace instead of judgment, bile and insults.