I think the only way to have peace in this country is for the United States to split apart into Cascadia and related territories and the Confederacy of Trump States. I think the United States is dead, the two parties cannot co-exist and high-ranking Republican politicians insist on subjugating everyone who doesn’t think as they do, forcing them into a cult that already barely resembled the God they claim to worship and now just uses Jesus and scripture in name only to control their masses.
Not that the Democrat citizens are much better, this past week, I’ve seen left wing people try to tear one another apart over Israel and Palestine. It feels like my statement; that I’m no fan of Israel’s cruel government, but I feel there should be a Jewish nation in that spot because it is sacred to them, is not enough, wrong, unable to penetrate the vitriol. I feel if Democrats were to secede, their nation would break into many smaller nations based on many factors, such as; whether or not you think Christianity should exist, if you like or dislike Miley Cyrus, if you believe Johnny Depp or Amber Heard and if you want to secede the governmental control to the Indigenous people because they were here first, or not.
My brain constantly screams at me as I try to have fun or relax, because it went through 10 years of programming by a far-right congregation, which was then reinforced by barbaric politicians and has been since. I keep hearing it tell me Hard Rock and Metal is wrong, modern Pop music is wrong, playing Edelgard’s campaign was wrong, enjoying Fairy Tail is wrong, having sexual thoughts is wrong. Part of it is anxiety from my neighbor, but I don’t hear him as much or as loudly as I used to, now it’s all memories resurfacing like spoiled milk or other food poisoning. I want to break this conditioning, it is draining me of energy and desire, I had two concerts last week and I missed them because all I could think of was an inability to help sad little girls and kittens enough. I cry when I hear Edelgard’s song “Edge of Dawn,” as the lyrics detail her sadness and lack of hope she can trust the player to make her feel better. Such sadness is in so many hearts and all I can think is “you can’t do anything about it,” and it guts me and I become a weeping mess. I remember when my brother showed me a scene in the alternate route, he’s chuckling at Dimitri’s “Kill every last one of them!” I’m noting Edelgard sounds sad and I can’t help her and he even took Dorothea and Petra from her. I finally put the Three Houses and fairy tail art in one folder and made a subfolder for Edelgard with cats and bunnies and as a cat, bunny, and even a giraffe and it doesn't make me less depressed, but I have a place I can go with it now. I just wanted that stupid Pop Up Parade Erza Scarlet to put her with the same line’s Edelgard and keep my imagination on happy things and Entertainment Earth takes my money, gets me overdrawn and leaves me with nothing because they treat me as the lowest of low priorities. I just don’t know what to do with the burdens of anxiety and depression, I feel it may kill me soon.
No comments:
Post a Comment