October Evening

I’m so sad and angry.  I don’t know what I want to do.  Sex doesn’t do much but distract.  I just scream at everything to make me happier, but that’s not its job.  What do I want, really? 

I want that feeling of “we’re all okay,” I guess.  I always feel strange that I like Annette and Lysithea so much to get merchandise of them in a route they’re not in by default.  I guess it’s because Chris Hackney said in an interview with Nintendo’s YouTube channel (which has yet to hold such a one with Tara Platt, yes, I admit it, I’m jealous) that if he got an eyepatch, he’d lie and say he got it rescuing a puppy from a Black Eagle.  It really burned me up because Western Internet already demonizes Edelgard and almost looks for any way to make her a terrible person.  Legitimately, the only person I’ve seen with more foul, racist language and genuine asshole behavior in internet writings are portrayals of Amber Heard in celebrity “fan fiction,” because to most people, Johnny Depp is like Donald Trump is to the Republican Party, a god incapable of sin.  No one looks at anyone realistically, purely as black and white, I admit I fell prey to this with Miley Cyrus and Michael Sweet and even still occasionally to Tara Platt.  The truth is, Miley is bold enough to be herself in front of strangers, unafraid of criticism and I admire that, but she doesn’t always say the best thing because people ask her questions that everyone would have difficulty with and is expected to give the best answer, better than most people.  Michael Sweet has written some of the most empowering religious lyrics and has an ear for quality hard rock and metal, however, he doesn’t like Guns N Roses for unclear, possibly petty reasons and is deep in the Republican marriage to Christianity, willing to look the other way on Trump’s bragging on sexual assault (which to me says ‘he’s done it, probably a lot’) and still encourage people to make him President while saying 10-11 months earlier Miley’s scantily-clad performances condemned her to Hell.  Tara has a soft, gentle voice which can also be used as a general, commander or Empress and has created sanctuary and security with her children’s book, TED talk and much of her work with her husband, Yuri Lowenthal.  She is also likely areligious/agnostic, not someone who believes in prayer and likely gets mad at religion for the damage done to the US government, namely the Supreme Court as well as Book Bans and efforts to make LGBTQ+ people second-class citizens or even declared non-human (I’ve studied the Holocaust, I know where this goes, they wouldn’t bet on Trump if this wasn’t somewhere in their playbook).

But realistically, we’ve got people who are trying to do good here, the women succeeding more often than the men to my perspective.  However, nobody is going to listen.  We’d rather shut our eyes and bathe in the familiar, try to drown the nay-sayers and alarmists like me by ignoring us until we effectively don’t exist.  I often feel unheard when I write, or that people are going to try to correct me with some “fact” I’ve overlooked.  I honestly feel useless because I recognize America’s solution is to break apart and let Trump rule the Confederacy, Southwest and Midwest and hold them off as the attempt conquest until they realize it’s foolish.  It is time for the United States to admit it is not going to work anymore, we need to take New England, New York, Pennsylvania, Georgia, California, Minnesota, Illinois, Oregon and Western Washington and use them to preserve the legacy of the United States.  They will take the rest and attempt to take it all, so we need to build fortresses to protect ourselves and outlast them and their warhawk ways.  That is what we must do, we have no other choice.