Confession

     A week ago Monday, I started re-taking Trazodone to lower my anxiety about what the attempted assassination on Trump would mean for the election, namely, fears that all voters on the fence would forget about Project 2025, think it's just a Democrat lie to put Trump in the mud and that he is innocent because "guilty people are never the target of assassins."  But I have bad reactions to this medication, and I honestly have been suspecting Trump of being the antichrist since 2016, and before that time, I always saw the antichrist as someone who would imprison the Christian left and the LGBTQ+ community in permafrost concentration camps that make Auschwitz look like a 5-star resort.  With the Supreme Court Decision on July 1st, it seems everything is lining up just as my imagination always feared.

 

    Naturally, this terrifies me.  I can't predict the outcome of baseball games, but I can apparently predict my own apparent demise, as well as the demise of my family, my friends and my heroes?  It feels like a nightmare, yet I can't wake up.  I know it may not happen, I want desperately for it to not happen, but all these things line up with a long group of fears so "perfectly" I can't see any possibility other than this is going to happen.  I can stop the Trazodone, but this mindset, that this evil is perfectly set up to match over a decade and a half of fear, won't leave.

 

    This whole mentality reminds me of people who would guilt-trip you for listening to Led Zeppelin, Van Halen, Sammy Hagar, Black Sabbath, Miley Cyrus, Ariana Grande and several other Hard Rock/Metal and Pop acts so hard you'd feel like a serial killer.  I don't want to go back.  It pained me to leave, feeling that agony of loneliness and the idea that these now-strangers were once my friends, but they would now say things that would hurt me.  I was living my life in pain and had to leave and now I'm afraid I'll be sent back to a place that won't allow your answer for current favorite song to be a 3-way tie between "The Climb," "Flowers" and "Victim of Changes (Live)," but the only metal you're allowed is Stryper and Bloodgood, the only Pop and Hard Rock you're allowed is CCM and your favorite non-CCM genre is Country and the only exception to these rules is The Beatles, as a group only.

 

    To end on a high note, the Mariners released their 2025 schedule.  If I'm wrong and everything is okay next year, I aim to see the Mariners vs. the Baltimore Orioles on June 3rd or 4th and vs. the Los Angeles Dodgers on the last Friday of September.  I'm also going to get a Godzilla art book today and a Temari Funko Pop.  We have waited for years for Temari to get one, now Tara Platt has her very own Funko Pop.  I will pose it with my Nezuko, Erza and Momo Funko Pops (I keep imagining a crossover 90s beat-em-up game with these 4 as the playable characters, like Turtles in Time) and next week, I'll buy a Konan Funko Pop because Temari and Konan's voice actresses play Edelgard and Mercedes in Fire Emblem; Three Houses and Fire Emblem Warriors; Three Hopes.  In case you're from Facebook and missed it, Mercedes is voiced by Dorothy Fahn, who also voiced Kaoru in Ruroni Kenshin, Lilymon from Digimon and Konan in Naruto.  She is also a Trekkie who loves the Dodgers and the Angels.  I'll talk more some other time.