It hit the fan

 

               I’ve had enough.  I genuinely don’t feel like a valid human being.  I feel challenged on so many things, like I’m not allowed to think or believe them because people tell me doing so is a sign of mental retardation, gross stupidity or pledging your soul to Satan.  I was antagonized through school about Godzilla, then Christianity, then antagonized in Church over being an LGBTQ+ rights ally, then that criticism spread nationwide when they made that the federal rule, bringing back criticism for being Christian from the other side, then criticism of liking the anime Fairy Tail which they judged inferior for unclear reasons, RWBY for “going woke,” both of which were comforts during the rise of fascism and anti-Christian sentiment and then, the worst of it all, they constant death threat art against the Black Eagles route of Three Houses probably because it was pure catharsis for left-leaning people frustrated by the fascists, but wasn’t out and out communist, Edelgard clarifies her “enemy [is] the Church not the faith” and has support conversations with Manuela exploring the distinction between faith in a God and an organization abusing that faith for their leaders’ gain rather than the gain of the people. 

 

But, apparently, I’m the only person on the planet who bothers digging into these things and seeking this comfort in this nonsense, because the responses I’ve always gotten are “you’re crazy,” “it’s your fault you’re bullied,” “try being interested in their things,” “you don’t read enough scripture” or “you read too much scripture.”  I’d do it all myself, but that makes me feel even less like a valid human.  I have nothing to offer the world, no riches to donate the fascists into losing, no exciting or relatable stories for my family, nothing but playlists of music, game experience and kaiju/superhero stuff that someone is going to say is all infernally inspired because it isn’t about Jesus.  I’m honestly starting to think my existence is a mistake because I’ve accomplished nothing and screwed over everything that went right.  I was born in time to watch my country fall to the Nazis and be Kirk Cameron’s Whipping Boy and never see a World Series.  Yay, me.