The afterlife

     I'm mostly writing this to relieve tension from cognitive dissonance in the world, which I am feeling a lot these days.  I am tired of reading MLB's articles on their favorite baseball teams, the Yankees, Red Sox, Giants, Rangers, Astros and Dodgers at the expense and belittlement of the Mariners.  I am tired of hearing hopeless news about 2024 because so few are donating to politics.  I am tired of fear reigning my head, most of all, which is at its climax right now.

 

    I implied in a tweet that scientist Carl Sagan was in the Holy Afterlife, forgetting that atheists want to hear about that about as much as either of us want to hear about Krishna and reincarnation.  But I want to believe in an afterlife.  My life has been so wracked with pain I don't want to not.  I always saw myself as the loser in my family.  Mom would be the best teacher and spiritual person she could be, my brother got great grades and answered questions about anything well, I made up stories on the playground, got called retarded, was told it was my fault by my stressed-out Mom and it wasn't until I was 16 and at the ELCA Youth Gathering that I thought I was okay.  Agape, a Lutheran Rapper, spoke, talking about his friend who was starving herself and said he just wanted to tell her God created her and she was beautiful.  This was, unfortunately, beaten out of me by radicals from both sides of the Christian-atheist divide.  A friend lectured me in the school library that Christianity was just a ripoff of other religions and senior members in my second Church shoved Sodom, Gomorrah and Leviticus 20:13 in my face because I thought two women game characters made a cute couple around the time I heard about Matthew Shepard for the first time.

 

    The biggest insight from this I gained from this is life stinking hurts.  Earthen life is pain, misery and betrayal to the point you just want peace.  God promises that peace in Heaven, which is why so many are worried about others and go to such extreme lengths out of fear.  But it is wrong.  I can't quote a verse, I don't know scripture enough, but I've known people of many walks of life and religion who provide refuge from life's pain.  The voice actors on Twitter, my family, people in Japan...all create spaces where people like me can forget our scars and fear.  In "The Last Battle" of Narnia (so I'm told, I only read "Dawn Treader"), Lewis had Aslan bring one who wasn't his chosen to the new Heaven and Earth, because he couldn't believe God would be cruel to the kind over not being Christian.  That sounds like the Christian God more than the actions of right wing politicians.  Tara and Yuri are atheists and they fit the definition of "Little Christ" more than any Republican in Congress.  That is what I mean when I say "I refuse to believe in a God that would condemn you."  I can believe in Brandi Carlile's song "Sinners, Saints and fools," which shows an uncaring Right-Wing Radical denying sanctuary to immigrants to who God says "we can't let just anyone in here anymore," sending him away, presumably to Hell.  My first Church claimed we'd see Hitler and Bin Laden on the other side, but after being exposed to many walking their footsteps, I cannot agree.  I know it says "Judge not, lest ye be judged, condemn not, lest ye be condemned," but I cannot believe God will forgive Trump and DeSantis at this time.  These are my thoughts, I am okay if they're not yours, I just want them respected.